Are you done suffering?
Are you sure you are ready to read this?
I, just like so many people around me have had a rough run of suffering in my lifetime. So many of us seem to choose diseases, situations and afflictions that push us at some stage of our life right to the limit of the suffering that we can endure. Whether it is physical, mental or very emotional, many people have one particular life theme that has dominated their efforts and actions. For some of you the road can get so hard that eventually your suffering and affliction become the only way that you can define yourself and who you think you are.
I remember sitting in the dark on my floor one night with my hands on my face straining and bearing the internal war and affliction that I had embodied for so long that it was ingrained in me. In a rare moment of tearful reflection I silently asked myself, ‘Why am I so ill?’ The really strange part of the story is that the answer came immediately. I have debated for years where the answer came from but have learnt to listen more and more in my present day.
The really hard part to swallow was the answer I received … the voice inside said, “You are no longer ill and your need to suffer is gone!!!”
I immediately became angry at this internal monologue, I straight away began to refer to the times in my life when I had tackled my Temporal Lobe Epilepsy and the hell that came with it and lost horribly in an epic struggle for my soul.
What followed was one of the strangest moments of my life … I call it my “six sense ending ” referring to the movie when the reality smacks you so hard you’re gobsmacked.
In a very hard to explain moment of true reflection I was suddenly aware all at once, at just how important the nightmare test I had walked was in making me exactly who I was. Even harder to accept, I suddenly realised that the test had been over for many years. I realized that I had suffered for so long and I had learnt to identify with the tortured soul syndrome so much, that without my epic battle I did not know who I was.
Then it hit me, that if my test had been over for a long time, the process was complete and I was already healed of my affliction and ready to put into process my reason for being. I realized I had been healed for a long time, but had become so used to losing the war and suffering that I had stopped fighting.
Deep inside clear as day I understood … The suffering had left me a long time ago, the record had been played, the character and experience had been gained. Now I was healed and free to walk away. Yet I would not let go, I would not move on, I kept climbing back into my unlocked cage that had been the hell I swore against but that I now realized I had been choosing!
When I took myself off my medication shortly after that they told me it was like diabetes and I would end up in a mental institute without it.
I ignored them as I knew it was over. Today If someone asks me I say that I used to be bi-polar and epileptic. They look at me in the strangest way… so I explain I am healed, it is over and I smile.
I am so at peace today and so grateful that I looked within and discovered that the second part of my life had not yet begun. The part where you change the world around you with the love and compassion you have learnt through your struggle!
So the question that you really have to ask yourself, whether you are a bulimic, a beaten wife, a drug addicted man, a mentally and emotionally disturbed soul… it does not matter the war you have chosen…
The question remains the same… “Am I still learning or have I learnt everything I can from this?”
Do you know when it is enough? It is enough when you say it is!!!
Hardest thing to ever admit when you claim you suffering (and sometimes you really are)
Who needs this relationship more …. my problem or me . Am I ready to let this go , am I ready to stop playing this record and put what I have learnt into action .
I have known the dark side for so long I am almost too afraid to meet my light side!
Am I ready to let go of the old me and meet my true self?
Am I ready to see how this path has prepared me for that moment when I awaken and throw off the lesson? Am I ready to embrace that moment when I realize why I am here and how my past prepared me? … Or am I going to stay in the shadows suffering, where it is safe!
Everyone comes here with a purpose in mind. Everybody’s life begins with a set of circumstances that will help you cultivate the skills needed for your shining moment. Yet very few ever awaken to their purpose as they get lost in the victim consciousness of the planet.
Do you even know who you are without your pain, dramas and suffering?
Have you had enough?
The best swords go through the hottest fires, but you cannot fight with the blade until it cools down and tempers!
Are you done suffering?
If you are ready to let go, you can shake yourself off and stand tall.
Stand tall and I promise you, it will all begin to make perfect sense.
It would be a shame after going through the hard part of your plan, to not know and experience the magnificence of who you really are.
First you have to let go.
There is no question in the world that baffles me more than the following:
What religion are you?
I always answer the same thing … do I have to pick just one?
Amazingly I can always see that the person is always as stunned by my answer as I am by their question. Very often the conversation continues with, “No seriously, what are you?”, to which I reply “Human … this part of me anyway”. The conversation is deadlocked.
I can by no stretch of the imagination find a single box that I could ever climb into when it comes to my soul’s journey of understanding.
I actually heard someone who had known me a long time the other day tell everyone I was an Atheist. I did not find this hurtful at all but I slowly began to wonder why so many people say that about me. I think that the problem started when I began to write and people posed me questions like, “Are you a Christian?” To which I always reply with a vehement no. Not for any other reason than to choose one box of truth is to merely deny the others and that is a state that I cannot exist in. It seems that this has led people to draw the conclusion that I am an Atheist.
Let me share a perception with you my friends… We are such magnificent complex creatures us humans. In masses we behave more like a virus destroying and consuming everything, but on a personal level we have so much depth of art, music and general compassionate love pouring out of us that we could bring a tear to any eye.
In this magnificent journey there is no question or issue in society that has shaped or affected us more than the one of religion and higher personal meaning. The search for meaning plagues every man on a different level and affects us in ways we cannot even comprehend
In my mind there is an absolutely all-encompassing light and love that flows through all things. The semantical debate of how and what you wish to name that force is just honestly our human need to box and categorise everything. Your understanding of what that force might be, will grow and change as you do. Therefore getting into a debate about a Prime Creator, a Source, Universal Love or even a God seems like a fruitless exercise when you realise how many cultural and experiential influences there are regarding the subject. Time and time again we get caught up on trying to get everyone to agree with our view of God. Surely a perfect endless energy would be great enough to give you each your own secret understanding of him… why does it need to be shared?
So if we can get past the names and the explanations and if you are brave enough to move beyond a state of fear (which is the ultimate lie), then it becomes irrelevant to you if someone uses the words Holy spirit or Quantum field of possibilities. When you are at this place of perfectly open-acceptance, a beautiful thing happens!!!
For the first time you start noticing the similarities between all paths of enlightenment as opposed to the differences. The source of all light and all love has expressed itself through so many special human beings. How many great masters have come and walked the path back to love and light amongstus . And each and every time we did the same thing, we noticed not the similarities in the things that they taught, we noticed the differences.
Heck, we built entire nations … not on the similarities of the path of light and divinity … but upon the differences.
Somewhere along the way we became ill as a society, we were even tricked into believing that there where sides to pick. We have started to believe that you can only be one and not the other?
Why is it so hard to believe that Buddha, Mohammed, Krishna and the Lord Jesus came from the same source? Planet earth is the ultimate playground of experience and diversity of life. In every single object and creature, the source and fabric of all life flows through it. The ultimate love and light behind all things seems to always be calling us home. Every single person truly burns and desires inside themselves for meaning, we are all gently called inside. Inside is the way home!
How many ways in this great universe do you think there are of finding the light and love inside yourselves? How many ways do you think there are of honouring the experience of your life on your experiential journey home?
This magnificent candle that is within us all … can be made to burn brighter in a million ways. The simple act of gardening may connect one person to his divine. Another may find great honour in prayer. Another might find that in feasting and chanting that his soul comes alive. With each and every human the result is the same, they find ways to make there flame burn brighter … the flame in one’s heart once ignited may eventually engulf the world!
Why are we so obsessed with the differences? These beautiful beings that have walked amongst us have all had the identical message. They have spread love and brotherhood, they wanted to cultivate understanding and acceptance. Above all each one showed us through his life how it is that one can, through your surroundings, through your hearts, through your thoughts and through your actions, connect so strongly with the divine flame in your heart, that you can even begin to defy the physical laws as we know them. Each and every human that has walked the path of enlightenment before our eyes learnt to transcend the human condition.
While the forces of fear trick you into breaking down the differences, a truly open heart only sees the similarities. Open hearts only see one path! Each one learnt to honour and love in different ways. Each ones became a shining example of the love that was felt within, and this shone out in a myriad of ways.
Krishnamurti you may remember, shared the story of how the devil and a friend were walking down the street, when they saw ahead of them a man stoop down and pick up something from the ground, look at it, and put it away in his pocket. The friend asked the devil, “What did that man pick up?” “He picked up a piece of the truth,” said the devil. “That is very bad business for you, then” said his friend. “Oh, not at all,” the devil replied, “I am going to help him organize it.”
Do you think that the light and love of the world can shine any less, inside a Native American Indian honouring Mother Earth, through his dance of love in the rain, than it can shine through a person sitting in church on Sunday? Do you not see how the flame can burn brightly in all of us? It is always defined by the same thing.
Our intentions are our soul contract to the path that will unfold before us!
The only false doctrine or lie,is fear. It is fear that they feed you to keep you under control. Even reading my words has filled many of you with fear because of the blasphemy of what I am suggesting. Fear is a Liar. So are boxes. Donot listen … donot accept them! We are all so busy fighting over the scraps of ancient tables, bickering about whether we are meant to pray ten times a day, eat pigs, wear what clothes and say what words, that we have completely missed the point. Fear keeps us enslaved by keeping us focusing on the differences. I am touched and honored to be of the same race as mighty beings like Jesus the Christed one and Gautama Buddha.
My heart fills with excitement and imagination each time I think about them being on this planet. I get tingles when I think about the levels of love and understanding that must have flowed through them by the end of their physical expressions. I am touched by the hardships and suffering that some used to grow their flame brighter. A flame that they hoped would light up a way home for many! They each expressed their love and path towards the light in a different way. Just as your path will become your own unique journey to the light that no one can ever copy. And like them, all you can hope for,is that through your ways and your words humans will be inspired to begin to walk their own path with light. That they will be touched, close their eyes and begin a silent and eternal relationship with the flame within that aches to grow.
If you ever leave this place and look back on humanity…. I am almost sure that your hopes will be that others will follow. I am sure you will hope that instead of starting wars over whether you should bath once or ten times a day or eat this or that, that rather they understand that you honoured and loved your bodies. I am sure that you will hope that they will not split entire societies and the subject of how you prayed or meditated, but you would rather hope that they understand to go within to cultivate their own connection with Flame.
The playground is before you, love and meaning can be found under each and every stone. Honour the Source of all Love, not by trying to replicate a long lost misunderstood, manipulated and fear-based set of rules and regulations.
Honour a prime creator by finding you own perfect way to grow the Flame within you.
Let love be the colour that touches each and every thought and action. For each of you it will physically express in different ways. How beautiful it is that we are all the children with a blank paper and a paint pot…and you can honour in any way your heart can unfold. May the great masters and painters of our past be our inspiration to paint magnificent works as opposed to cowering in the corner arguing about which brushes they used.
I am not against religion.
I am against one religion!!
I am not one Religion. I am all.
I study all painters and honour all styles. My heart is open, I can feel My Flame gently starting to glow.The world that I once doubted even existed talks to me so clearly that is seems like it is more real than the world around me some days.
My heart is open … my mind is free of fear.
When I close my eyes I feel it so deeply, when I look around I see it expressing itself in all things. There is no truth that can be found outside of yourself. Any man that claims to know the truth for you is a liar.
There are man-made arguments and structures that can confuse you and scare you for a lifetime when you look for truth without. The true teachers will give you no answers but will help you discover your own truths and inspire you to ask the right questions of yourself. They will inspire you to paint … not tell you what to paint!
Close your eyes and silently go within.what awaits you is the same for each man, but how it will express and unfold will be diverse for all. I honour every single one of the steps you have taken in order to ignite your flame. I am honoured to have shared in your churches and temples and beliefs.
As long as we always remember that in the greatest question of your life, there is no need for a middle man Awakening does not mean looking for a new box, its involves liberating yourself from the need of a box at all!!!
Now you will understand my humour when I fill in a form and I put an‘x’ in all the boxes.
The Light of the world is within you.
Do you love animals ?
Are you sure ?
Are you open minded ?
Are you brave enough to open your heart just for a second so that your eyes may flood you with a difficult reality that most will walk away from angry?
Give me 90 Seconds to share something with you
Let me ask you a question …. what kind of emotion comes up in you when you think about someone shooting a dog in the head , what kind of instincts and even anger comes up when you imagine torturing and killing a cat or a puppy ?
The feeling are sickening as well as sad .. and there is a simple reason for that , a part of your soul can sense more and more as we evolve that these creatures are earthlings just like us , a part of you knows that they are sentient cousins and we feel the need to protect our own . You could go as far as to say that we are realizing that they are a part of us , whether we understand how or not we certainly all feel it . The things that people will do and say to protect dogs is quite amazing and their love know no boundaries !
Now let me ask you a very very difficult question .. and think before you answer .
What is the difference between your dog and a piglet ?
What is the difference between your horse and a cow ?
What is the difference between a tuna and a dolphin ?
Think deeply about my question ….
Now let me ask you , imagine being responsible for shooting and slitting the throats of the above animals yourself …. go through each animal and note the changes in emotional response . Please try !
Now comes the part where you need to be really brave to see for the first time !
Why do you feel the need to love and protect beyond all measure the one set of creatures and not the other ??
Why can you feel that it is really wrong from the depths of your heart to hurt the one half and not the other .
The answer is simple …. WE are specist !! And it is one of the most underestimated diseases of all time .
Consider how slavery worked for so long , consider how genocides happened , considered all the greatest evils of our time . There was one underlying lie that was silently spread through the masses … the lie that some beings are less than others , the lie that humanity and natural laws of love do not apply to certain races or cultures, animals or earthlings !
And when peoples hearts switch off to the group in question , and suddenly no one can see what is right before there eyes … no matter how dark or sinister it may be .
We might have slowly begun to heal the damage done by the propaganda campaigns against certain earthlings , but when it comes to animals it is getting worse by the day !
Ok so here goes
The primary reason you allow certain animals to be persecuted by the millions in houses of torture and death suffering beyond what your heart will let you see is that you have no emotional connection to that particular animal .
You find it hard to ride and cow and bond with it , so you make earth a living hell for it, but the horse you will lay down your life for . You love the way dogs are able to bond with you and show you affection, you literally see them as part of the family , but you let them slit the piglets neck while it is screaming in fear so that you can have some bacon !
You will do doing anything to protect a dolphin because something about his nature appeals to our fickle nature , we feel we can relate somehow and yet we see a Tuna as something that exists to die for us and has no feelings .
The truth is that humans are so dark that if they cant relate to an animal then they condemn it to hell for eternity of suffering . You have chosen certain animals to be our slaves for our stomachs regardless of the consequences of our actions . It there was a hell for animals they are already here , and I shit you now , they describe us as the devil !
We are specists , and mother earth is crying out for us to love all her children , not just the ones that tickle our fancies .
I am a vegan , and people say I am extreme …
I am not extreme, I am awake now .
The ONLY difference between you and me is that I see the cow the way you see your horse, the only difference between you and me , is that I can sense that my human arrogance has kept me from seeing the perfect beauty of each creature , when I could not relate to a creature I decided it was free of feeling and devoid of pain .
I was also disgusted and hurt by other nations that slaughter and eat dogs because I could n see that I am exactly the same ! Why does one animal deserve our love and mercy and the other our torture , why are some animals special and beautiful and others just food !
I truly believe that if you open your heart your eyes will immediately see what the earth is trying to show us . We are all one !
There are no more excuses for these creatures to suffer for our lazy and selfish ways . The argument that this has always being done is disgusting, will we never allow ourselves to let go of the past so that we can begin to heal .
The health arguments are so poorly researched that I think I will cry if someone asks me where i get my protein from . I am a professional sportsman and I am as fit and strong as any man . Some of the top MMA,power lifting as well as Sprint athletes in the world are now vegans , for the health benefits alone !
If you where forced to pick up the knife every-time you wanted a meal , if you where forced to have blood spilling all over you while the animals screamed kicked and struggled , you would wipe your tears and go to your hands and knees. You would thank the earth for what she has shown you …. you can just feel in the bottom of your gut that is is so so wrong , and there would be no denying it .
You would with your heart open , be ready to fight for your cousins who have no voice and who have suffered longer than time . And you would not mind if you offended some human feelings along the way !
The truth is that you will not get your hands dirty , you will make stupid jokes about what I have suggested while you consume your burger in the mall talking to your friends . No blood on your hands , and totally oblivious to the fact that an animal suffered its entire life meeting a vicious end so that you could enjoy your meal for five minutes.
After all , if you don’t do the killing , you are not responsible … or are you ?
So if you are willing to keep one of the greatest lies in history going , if you think there is nothing wrong with the estimated billions of liters of blood spilled per day . If you dont have the guts to go to a slaughterhouse and see the truth behind your meal . If you are not willing to spill that blood yourself !!
Then just do me one favor …never ever tell me its a personal preference !!!! I can promise you that that animal will choose life every single fear ridden life . He gets no personal preference at all .
And secondly will you please kindly stop waving your I am against cruelty to animals sign everywhere ….
We fight for the animals of the world …. not just the ones you think are cute and fluffy
My heart is wide open , my eyes cry at what they see . And I am just thankful that you gave me the opportunity to try and show you what it is that we can not see .
Our children will ask us one day , but mom/dad , Did you not know what they where doing to the earthlings ?
And well I guess we are all going to answer than in our own way
Thank you for sharing in my perception
To love and clear sight
I am 269life… We are all 269
The mere awareness of the fact that there is multiple realities outplaying in any situation or moment ,frees us from our crippling need to be right all the time .It allows us to keep a loving place of non judgement as we watch all the processes and perfectly orchestrated lessons unfold for the beautiful individuals that surround us.
Many of what you perceive as your darkest moments are in actual fact your finest hours ,as it was with the wave of realization and understanding that birthed forth from what you perceive as a negative or dark experience that brought you to this moment…. this perfect moment . The person you are right now , is an amazing combination of events and experiences that all gently coax you towards that moment when you waken to self realization . And each and every journey is an absolute manifestation of perfection . And absolutely unique !
The lives of the people you see around you are each an entire universe and reality to their own , each slowly and uniquely working their own process of awakening .
Every single interaction you share with other beings involves an incredible collapse of realities into a single moment. Each person will always view a reality that most assumed is shared (but never is ) from a completely unique perspective.
When you look out into the world , honor and be kind in your thoughts and actions towards everything you see . It would be an absolutely fruitless exercise to ever try and judge or sum up another experiences from your point of view . Learn to honor the processes that they choose to go through in their perfect and very often difficult process of self realization. Just as you must learn to trust and honor your own process .
In an incredible journey where sometimes your darkest hour is your finest moment , and in a world where sometimes being totally lost is when we are about to be found . We realize that we can no longer measure our lives with our small measuring tape of our past doctrines . We have to take a deep breath and before you take your next step into the next approaching drama of your life . Whisper to the greater and higher aspects of yourself ” I will stop holding on so tight now . I will begin to trust the processes that you lead me to , if i look back I can see the perfection of all the moments leading me to become what I now am , why would my future be any different ?I walk with trust , that every moment , no matter how difficult will be exactly what I need to unfold my wings gradually towards ultimate awareness and perfect love.”
To all those whose realities overlap mine , to those that honor me by playing parts in my play , you have played your roles to perfection , I salute and honor you , no matter how negative your role seems to have been . Every great story needs protagonists and heroes. And all great actors play both at different times .
Thank you for being part of my journey. I stand in a crowed in awe of all the perfection i sense unfolding . Billions of moments of seeming chaos all around me . Gently pushing and prodding the masses to the moment of unconditional love . The wave will eventually wash us all away . And we will move on to other worlds excited to find new ways to grow and become self realized !
Until then I salute every single one of you , And i have no opinion or judgement on how you find your way . In my eyes you are perfection in action without exception
From seeming Chaos to perfect love
Standing on the mountain I realized that this journey has not been without its pain , and as I look before me I see many powerful souls wiping sleep from their eyes . And as they look down at themselves for the first time , they notice that their knees are bloodied and their faces are worn !
It almost seemed like this adventure pushed us to far … we all came so close to never waking again . Many stand with warm soft tears flowing down there cheeks as they once more feel the source of all love and life pour through their hearts . Tears flow as they once again acknowledge the mother “The great spirit ” beneath their feet ! Like a child back in the mothers arms they surrender to the love they feel for the first time in longer than they can even remember.
Mother stirred and spoke to her children from a voice within ….
” There is still one more leap that must be taking before your true freedom can be attained my children . Each and every one of you must turn your attention within.
The only eternal truths and ultimate guidance that exists for any being in the universe is the voice that comes within.
Many generations of teachers and fables and legends have brought you to this point . Your higher self has brought every single peace of information before you , always at the perfect time to bring you to this moment of awakening . Every book , every friend , every mentor has been a blessing that has brought you to this point where great courage is needed.
Now comes the great leap … the moment where you must stand on the edge of the cliff of reality ….. and dive off . For to truly find your freedom you need to turn within . You need to make yourself the reference of all reality !
You need to from this day forth abandon ever trying to look for anything outside of the eternal perfect expanse that is within !
For to truly be awakened is to never again look for any truth or validation outside of the internal perfection that is you . In an awakened state your inner state knows every thing you will ever need to know . No truth or reality that can ever be felt or found outside of oneself could ever match to that absolute tailor maid perfection of the voice within .
The outer world and the inner world play different songs . You can only dance to the rhythm of one my child . The inner world patiently awaits you , your eyes and senses have dominated you for so long !
Just close your eyes with a clear and open heart and you will hear your true voice for the first time . Once you connect to who really are, eternity , peace and knowing unfolds like a lotus inside you, right hear and right now . And tho those around you will know no different , the beautiful song will echo within , giving meaning and understanding with each act or expression of creation that is your life . ………………….
When you look from the inside out , true reality will behold you .
Close your eyes and meet me there my children, your truth , your love and your eternal journey awakens within ”
Slowly mothers voice began to fade away . Some of her children felt the love flow within their hearts grow stronger still … the pure simplicity and potency of mothers message to her children rang clear in their ears . Some began to take a seat right there on the mountain to close their eyes . To connect with the only source of all things . They had been away from home a long time and there was much to be said and much healing to be done .
Sadly for the majority who received this message and felt this love . The message was not clear and the illusion had grown to strong . And no sooner had the message been delivered , no sooner were they walking around asking each other what they thought it meant . They wandered around the mountain that afternoon looking for someone to explain to them what was going on . Their long journey to truth and peace began all over again … mother watched silently and sadly as she saw her children looking for truth and love outside of themselves again .
Mother felt the pain deep within …. and with her pain the lighting and thunder began to Clap and the earth begun to shake .
The source of all light and the source of all love gently shone down on mother, reminding her of how long she had waited for her children . Encouraging her by focusing her on the children that where on her mountainside , eyes closed , back in her bosom. Mother began to sob as the rains gently began to fall from the skies !
Those few souls sat alone scattered across that mountain tops that afternoon . And as the gentle rain fell in their faces , eyes closed ,hearts open !
A smile broke out in unison ….as they reconnected with the source of all things
They were home
Having found their Truth , their meaning and their Soul-mates all in one day !
See you on the mountain side