Monthly Archives: August 2017
Monthly Archives: August 2017
One of my boxers once asked me a personal question after class. Something he had heard about me but was always to scared to ask .
I for some reason decided to tell him the story behind his question. I noticed near the end of the story that tears slowly welled up into his eyes and begun to express down this hardened athletes cheeks. He did not break eye contact me for a single moment and he just allowed the tears to gently find a path across his face and fall unencumbered to the earth .
He thanked me for sharing , shook my hand and walked away .
That was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Not once did he lift his hand to wipe away his tears in shame . He allowed his soul to openly express the pain he felt for what I shared.
I was walking through the mall today when I found my heart opening and I felt this great sadness escaping me. I realised that tears had begun to form.
I felt so sad I couldn’t hold it back, almost embarrassed to be there and suddenly I remembered my friend .
I allowed my heart to open and kept walking through the mall. I made no attempt to hide it. I just allowed the warm tears to flow quietly across my face. I walked past throngs of people wearing my pain .
I even smiled to a lady through my tears to assure her I was fine.
I was just feeling right now
And thats ok
My friend Jean got me thinking last night. A statement he made resonated with me, “It is my shamanic inclination to perturb the system.”
I have always been fascinated the way certain people trigger others into strong social responses. I started off at a young age avoiding these people, I had very stormy waters within, and I found these people to be unnecessary and inconsiderate.
In later years as my inner waters stilled more and more I begun to perceive the whole thing from a different angle. Was it possible that these social rejects were actually a shamanic expression in action. As if the Divine Expression grew these flowers in humanity to keep the garden from getting stagnant.
This was one of my first revelations to how chaos would slowly reveal itself as divine perfection to me.
I think I spent so much time observing people in this way, in the way that we consistently trigger each other’s unresolved shadows and wounds, it is no surprise I created what I did.
I walked into my Varsity dorm room on the first day and I was introduced to “Johan” my well rounded hardworking Christian roommate from Pretoria. He was fanatically devout to Jesus and avoiding all things dark, which I soon realised was pretty much anything in his perception.
Of course it was not long until I heard about the evil man who lived across the hall from us. The students spoke about him in the lunch area with deep fear that I seldom saw. Of course this led me to a simple conclusion I had to meet this man. The man that openly admits, to being a child of the dark.
The meeting was very odd indeed. I saw this long-haired, completely tattoo-covered creature, and as he walked people actually moved away and began to whisper. It looked very lonely to be him.
I walked up to him and started to speak to him. He looked me up and down with serious distaste. We were like chalk and cheese. I don’t remember much of what he said to me, but I do remember him calling me a bulky Tarzan-looking bunny hugger (I had long hair).
The insults just flowed with such grace.
I waited for him to stop, and when he did he paused to wait for my reaction. He was almost cautious to see if I would respond aggressively…
I found some of what he said to be so brilliant, he dissected me so brutally and with great observation, I just burst out laughing.
I put my arm around him, and when he asked “What the fuck are you doing?”, I replied “I am hugging a bunny.”
It was a really weird first meeting but we both ended up walking to Lithographic class together
Keegan was a body piercer and he was covered in tattoos. He had about twenty rings and loops just in his face. I think the most fascinating feature was his bar code tattooed across his arm. Underneath it said, “Manufactured by Demons.”
He was quite a sight to behold!
It only took a few days for our friendship to cause problems, I was disowned by my roommate for entertaining darkness. Low and behold I was placed in a room with Keegan.
This friendship taught me so much about people. Behind these angry eyes I found a sensitive teddy bear with unimaginable cynicism, but even greater insight into the human condition.
We had endless conversations, between him snarling and scaring people on the walkways, and many a day behind closed doors I had him cry in my arms.
He was a beyond special human being. We were so freaking naughty together, naughty to the max, yet within both of us, not a single malicious bone.
He is one of the most kind and caring friends I have ever had, and he was accepting and non-judgemental on a level that we can all hope to reach one day. He carried so much pain inside him, the world from his perspective was a horrible place he could not wait to leave.
I realised watching him walk the hallways one day , people smirking and commenting as he went , what a mighty medicine the Keegan’s of this world are.
People that Source Intelligence puts amongst us, to trigger us. This causes us to face our own judgements and insecurities.
It’s a medicine in action, if you look at it from a certain perspective. Although for Keegan, I am sure a very hard path indeed.
The greatest leaps in consciousness can be made by asking yourself, why certain things trigger you. For Keegan he was merely the mirror to all the people afraid of their own darkness. There are many others that trigger us regarding, disability, sexuality and even belief. Many of us even get triggered by others behaviours as we refuse to accept our own humanness in this epic adventure of the Divine into seeming limitation.
I have found that it is quite possible to be around any ideas or behaviours without hooking into them in anyway, and when I find myself hooked in I realise that there is something I am not working through or a wound I have not healed. It is in this moment in time that perfect chaos unfolds as medicine in action.
The whole system is so perfect that those people that can trigger you on the deepest levels are usually cast as key players in your life. Lover, mother, friend or other family member.
It is often those in our lives that we conceive to cause the greatest conflict, that hold the most sacred eternal contracts with us. You would only ask someone you have a deep connection with to play such a key role. When all these pieces go back in the box, the bond will outlast any issue you chose to trigger in one another, here in this reality.
In a strange way our enemy is sometimes our best friend on a cosmic scale.
I realise today that people that are deeply at peace and assured of something can’t be triggered on it.
I want to thank Keegan for what he taught me. I know it’s only a matter of time before I get triggered again. Although I must say I think deeply now days before I fire and unload.
When I express and connect to the feelings of my being, I am connecting to my body’s emotional intelligence. This is a process that can only be authentic when it flows unencumbered by thought and analysis. Your true emotional spectrum has its source birthed beyond the mind.
The emotional body that stirs and dances while the mind slumbers can be trusted. These are communications from your inner whisper. The god in you is having an emotional experience.
Too often we see that mankind has learned to trust and act upon emotion created with rampant thought. A mind that runs untrained, is like a clumsy hippo running through still and peaceful waters below, stirring up an emotional muddy pool of confusion and doubt where a simple clarity once lay.
Overthinking is the undisciplined err of our times. We as a species have allowed ourselves to become possessed by a single sense. The constant hypothetical analyses, the insistent judgment and the deep ingrained suspicious mind chatter. Always showing us where we, or others, fall short. Overthinking is the wild winds that we allow to blow over the authentic oceans of our inner being.
The emotional confusion of our era is that we have learned to trust the storms so born!
Sometimes we react, even in a volatile way, to the waves crashing inside, victims to our own clumsy stirring and trudging.
It is a great misconception to think that our thoughts belong to us, or are unique to us in anyway. It is simply a radio frequency shared by our species, a single floor of reality upon which we have all stopped and set up camp. It is a general consensus, a station upon which we are all adding our emotions too.
One of the greatest things we can learn about ourselves as a species is that we actually have a single hive mind. We are so absolutely joined in the most intimate way, yet we walk around thinking we are separate.
Understanding that you are connecting to a hive mind will bring great enlightenment and peace into your life. For the more misinformed and misguided we, as a species become, the less you want to pay credence to the minutely bulletin playing in your head. To take the constant announcements and ideas that play in your perception as the true nature of your being, is a path filled with suffering and confusion.
To identify with the hive mind as your identity, means you will always have your experience of this reality dictated by the general consensus and overall consciousness of the planet. And as a whole the species is scared and confused and has its priorities so blurred and backwards .Do you wish to have your experience to be so?
The path of enlightenment on earth is one of the child choosing to reject the voice of the parent in its head. Even though as a species, we are psychically and biological hardwired to identify and comply with the connection without question.
To begin to not engage or identify with thoughts that do not serve your inner waters is a great act of rebellion!!!
It is a matter of going against your own instincts.
Rewrite your circuitry from within.
Enlightenment is you becoming identified with the eternal ghost in your own machine.
It is a great act of rebellion to reject ones thinking…
To throw back one’s head and laugh at the absurdity of an idea, even when it is cunningly broadcast in your own voice.
Imagine how different we would be as a species if we taught children that they are not that voice that never stops talking in their mind. Imagine we explained that that is a joint creative adventure, one that we are all contributing to. Imagine how different your life would have been if you had not spent it thinking they were your thoughts, and the measure of a person lay in the secrets of them.
Just as one can tap into thought stream, we can also tap into the galactic mind, the omnipresent intelligent source. That is why shamanic ancestral energy has been called back so strongly . The parent energy has been hijacked , so we must turn back to the grandmother and grandfather frequency of eternity. We must rebel from our own hive mind . When if enough of us have disconnected , the momentum will be slowed enough for us to redirect and examine .
Don’t trust emotional waters born of a busy mind, less you want to feel what the planet’s people feel.
If those thoughts are not your own, then the emotional storms born of them are even less so.
One must learn to guard ones sacred inner waters with unwavering discipline. You are the childlike empress at the gate, a guardian forced into maturity by an oppressive parent.
Too much respect is given to the illusion of maturity. I am stepping aside for my eternal child, one who has not fared well while I have made clumsy storms.
To calm ones inner waters is a great act of rebellion.
To feel safe and calm is to override your entire species.
All perfectly possible!
Unplug from the matrix of your own mind…
Rebel with me!
We that unplug will be the bringers of a new dawn
Rebel with me !