Are you done suffering?
Are you sure you are ready to read this?
I, just like so many people around me have had a rough run of suffering in my lifetime. So many of us seem to choose diseases, situations and afflictions that push us at some stage of our life right to the limit of the suffering that we can endure. Whether it is physical, mental or very emotional, many people have one particular life theme that has dominated their efforts and actions. For some of you the road can get so hard that eventually your suffering and affliction become the only way that you can define yourself and who you think you are.
I remember sitting in the dark on my floor one night with my hands on my face straining and bearing the internal war and affliction that I had embodied for so long that it was ingrained in me. In a rare moment of tearful reflection I silently asked myself, ‘Why am I so ill?’ The really strange part of the story is that the answer came immediately. I have debated for years where the answer came from but have learnt to listen more and more in my present day.
The really hard part to swallow was the answer I received … the voice inside said, “You are no longer ill and your need to suffer is gone!!!”
I immediately became angry at this internal monologue, I straight away began to refer to the times in my life when I had tackled my Temporal Lobe Epilepsy and the hell that came with it and lost horribly in an epic struggle for my soul.
What followed was one of the strangest moments of my life … I call it my “six sense ending ” referring to the movie when the reality smacks you so hard you’re gobsmacked.
In a very hard to explain moment of true reflection I was suddenly aware all at once, at just how important the nightmare test I had walked was in making me exactly who I was. Even harder to accept, I suddenly realised that the test had been over for many years. I realized that I had suffered for so long and I had learnt to identify with the tortured soul syndrome so much, that without my epic battle I did not know who I was.
Then it hit me, that if my test had been over for a long time, the process was complete and I was already healed of my affliction and ready to put into process my reason for being. I realized I had been healed for a long time, but had become so used to losing the war and suffering that I had stopped fighting.
Deep inside clear as day I understood … The suffering had left me a long time ago, the record had been played, the character and experience had been gained. Now I was healed and free to walk away. Yet I would not let go, I would not move on, I kept climbing back into my unlocked cage that had been the hell I swore against but that I now realized I had been choosing!
When I took myself off my medication shortly after that they told me it was like diabetes and I would end up in a mental institute without it.
I ignored them as I knew it was over. Today If someone asks me I say that I used to be bi-polar and epileptic. They look at me in the strangest way… so I explain I am healed, it is over and I smile.
I am so at peace today and so grateful that I looked within and discovered that the second part of my life had not yet begun. The part where you change the world around you with the love and compassion you have learnt through your struggle!
So the question that you really have to ask yourself, whether you are a bulimic, a beaten wife, a drug addicted man, a mentally and emotionally disturbed soul… it does not matter the war you have chosen…
The question remains the same… “Am I still learning or have I learnt everything I can from this?”
Do you know when it is enough? It is enough when you say it is!!!
Hardest thing to ever admit when you claim you suffering (and sometimes you really are)
Who needs this relationship more …. my problem or me . Am I ready to let this go , am I ready to stop playing this record and put what I have learnt into action .
I have known the dark side for so long I am almost too afraid to meet my light side!
Am I ready to let go of the old me and meet my true self?
Am I ready to see how this path has prepared me for that moment when I awaken and throw off the lesson? Am I ready to embrace that moment when I realize why I am here and how my past prepared me? … Or am I going to stay in the shadows suffering, where it is safe!
Everyone comes here with a purpose in mind. Everybody’s life begins with a set of circumstances that will help you cultivate the skills needed for your shining moment. Yet very few ever awaken to their purpose as they get lost in the victim consciousness of the planet.
Do you even know who you are without your pain, dramas and suffering?
Have you had enough?
The best swords go through the hottest fires, but you cannot fight with the blade until it cools down and tempers!
Are you done suffering?
If you are ready to let go, you can shake yourself off and stand tall.
Stand tall and I promise you, it will all begin to make perfect sense.
It would be a shame after going through the hard part of your plan, to not know and experience the magnificence of who you really are.
First you have to let go.