My truth is transient always
Please don’t ask for my opinion
I can’t give you an exact statement of fact
I can’t join you in solidarity in a consensus trance as I see others doing
Supporting you in your justification and validation of your restricted reality tunnel
I can’t argue and poke fun in an attempt to enforce prescriptive normalcy as I see others doing
I cant challenge your authenticity and condemn your perceptions as incorrect
I watch you rally for support, hedging, pre-empting the constant change in your life
Boxing yourself in evolutionary emotional patterns of restriction
Dear Heart, I’m an isolationist by choice and my interior world construct is not for public feasting
My truth is transient always
One that I hope will continually evolve, transcend, seek and transform
Please don’t ask me to agree with your well-rehearsed sentiment
Don’t expect me to drown in the consumption of your neurosis
I do love your fire in the belly passion and assuredness that you radiate
I can see the personal experience you have had to formulate such a compelling cohesive argument
But know I always see the reflection in the mirror, the quiet afflicted desperation
The other side of the other side even when its uncomfortable and I’m in a state of denial
Please don’t confuse my lack of endorsement or collaboration as disapproval
I can’t be as sure as you as to an ultimate truth
My truth is transient always
I might choose to share where I am now in my exploratory journey
I might feel safe enough to express my vulnerability in my current experience of modality
I might even learn from your satiated reflections and you from mine
I can always offer silent comfort in your emotional quandary
I can always offer you my love unconditionally without having an opinion
I can always offer you a safe space for reflection or self-exploration
But I can’t validate you, that Dear Heart is your own souls path
I see the feedback loop, the energy transcendence and it always loops back to you, to me, to us all
My truth is transient always..
Oh, Brother Time, why do they think you are linear?’ the lost soul asked one starry night.
‘They fear the possibilities if I am not’ came the soft reply from the realm beyond.
The soul sat quietly watching the glinting of infinite life dancing across the sky. The breeze caressed her face and she felt a welling inside her to seek and understand.
‘So, after each life we progress forward in history?’ the soul enquired quietly.
The night stayed eerily quiet. The moon gazed down on the soul as she waited patiently.
‘You return to the whole that is source and then breakaway to emerge anew. To be born rejuvenated an exact whole in spirit as the one you were before?’ the soul mused aloud.
The silence of the night embraced the soul and she felt embolden to continue.
‘Do we drink from the river of forgetfulness, in a timeless quest to always move forward?’ she said raising her voice in a plea.
‘Yes and No, little soul. There is no forward just another time stream. You are never the same, you may choose to bring more of your star family essence or less as you divine the potentials ahead.’ Brother Time mused as he walked to sit next to the soul.
She stared at him in wonder, as the visage of a man engulfed in shadows came to sit beside her.
‘Can you tell me more?’
Brother Time contemplated before his husky voice permeated the night.
‘Have you contemplated that fact that I, time am in constant flux?
That I bend and flow and breath the energy of our Mother.
That your soul may yearn scenarios that the stars behold outside of chronological time.
That you may exit the matrix and re-enter years before or after.
That you could die in 2016, and be reborn in 1624 and then thereafter incarnate in 2202.
That you could interact with that which you were and are.’
The soul sat in contemplation. Above a shooting star raced across the heaven in a majestic display.
‘More?’ Brother Time asked.
The soul smiled and said, ‘Yes, always more.’
Brother Time smiled knowingly and continued.
‘The statement “do unto other as you would have done unto you”
Is most poignant because there will come a time that you will interact with that which you identify as you.
An almost perfect essence of the ‘you’ when you are not part of the conscious whole.
Contemplate that you are living fragmented multi-dimensional versions across time.
Sometimes unaware of the other, sometimes not, submerged in the drama of Now.
That you are history in poetic action, effecting cosmic change with every thought.
You are a small majestic spark of the Whole, but you are immeasurable in vibrational possibility.
That your sacred soul family is so tightly intertwined into the fabric of Earths evolution,
That you can tap into the wisdom of the ages with your very breath.
You are Déjà vu, serendipity, destiny and prophesy in infinite motion.
As your awareness grows, so will you draw those fragments across time,
To unite in a memory and conscious Now that spans the eons,
You are here and you are there,
You are existing in multiple energetic dimensions,
You are man, woman, child and other or more,
You are the persecutor and the lover, the light and the dark,
You are the Eternal Dragon and it’s time.’
With that Brother Time disappeared into the night.
~ Whispers of a shattered soul
Oh empathic heart, why so conflicted?
Why shy away from pain like a vampire from light
Constantly hiding, shrinking, withdrawing
Seeking desperately to avoid conflict
Severing parts of your psyche to elude pain
Your discomfort quite literally physical
Oh emphatic heart, all that effort
Your constant anchoring and breathing
In a struggle to construct walls to circumvent
The dis-ease shimmering like a visceral mirage in the illusion of life
Your body now a temple of ill placed sensations
Blocking the vital organ that is the soul
Oh emphatic heart, what do you see?
A fractured visage in a mirror
A silent masochist looking back
Confusion and anguish laces your brow
Pain seeping from your eyes
Your heart heavy with restriction
Your body imploding with unease
Oh empathic heart,
Give yourself permission to feel
Feel it all and ride the wave of planetary dissonance and you will see
That love is laced within the very thing you fear
Joy and fear are old lovers and best friends
Separated only by your perception
For that is the gift of the empath
You dear heart are an integral part of the membrane of the universe
It is through you that the Mother can feel
You are her living, breathing filter
Immerse yourself in it all
Liquid love, sticky fear, consuming joy, fiery anger
Judge not the sensation, for it all has value
Allow the ease and flow
Feel the liberation of release
The emancipation of self
The healing of all…
~ Whispers of a shattered soul
When you invite the beautiful mess of raw chaos into your life
When you yearn for a deep awakening and cosmic connection
When you wish to birth a dancing star
Expect the unexpected…
Expect the best arranged plans to be eviscerated
Expect your most sacred moments to be invaded viciously
Expect to have the blessedness of anticipation tinkered with
Expect control and the illusion thereof to be blatantly challenged
Expect unexpected crisis in the circles you hold dear
Expect to live more in the delicious NOW than ever before
Expect to feel an ancient hurt entombed in the cavity of your ferociously beating heart
Expect turmoil as the EGO fights this new unquantified turn
Expect to disappoint other, as you wade through the beautiful chaos within
Expected to feel incriminated, villainous and boxed in
Expect to feel other disapproval and expectations tangibly, clawing at your transcending soul
And then expect to rail against the dying of the light within
Expect to wail against system and the perceived injustice of it all
Expect your soul family and those you trust most, to affect your experience deeply
Expect to feel the tangible living beast of resistance within you coil in visceral tension
And then dear hearts, when you have stomped and screamed and released it all
Surrender… as your inner worlds collide, collate and create
Surrender to the divine re-birthing, find the calm in the ensuing pandemonium
Feel your body and soul intertwine frenetically as the separation dissipates
Feel the most sacred blessing of connecting with the paradigms of the unknown
Feel a new perspective emerge, where you viscerally feel that perfection is all in the eye of the beholder
With each perceived crisis comes the potential for inner reprogramming
Nothing happens haphazardly, there is a flawless chaos and synchronicity to it all
You are always, always in sentient co-creation of your outward experience
Love and honour those unconditionally that are in the furious maelstrom with you
Those that are in sacred service to your soul, thank them for the confusion
Acknowledge your pain, and theirs – marvel at the perceived brokenness
Acknowledge your response to any situation reflects the fight within
Feel it and embrace the expanding vulnerability of the cosmic heartbeat
Feel the dance of the eternal chaotic awakening of the soul
Understanding that every moment is an opportunity for growth
Understanding that chaos is the gift of the divine
And then trust, oh the ultimate initiator
Trust yourself, and the infinite within you
Trust in the perfection of the chaos that you have called
And then you call the labouring chaos forth again…
~ Whispers of a shattered soul
That which I covet and that which I detest are much in the same,
There is no real divide,
What today tastes orgasmic in its birthing,
Tomorrow seems dull and offensive in its normalcy,
The longevity of my episodes of sentiment, are infinitesimal compared to the powerful emotional episodes of my younger self,
Oh, I was savage in my hunt for the most historic sticky melt down,
So nimble in my reach for the giddy heights of ecstatic glee,
Now the vulgarian sitting next to me on the train hardly stirs my waters, as he spews his venom,
Once I would have bled, boiled and erupted with his evasive intrusion,
Today I librate in a morbid fascination, watching, wearing my best face of ‘whateva’,
The dark chocolate cake, the salted popcorn all still promisingly aromatic but falling short of its previous emotional bliss inducing state.
I read the most beautiful prose and when I get to the crescendo of the recital, I close the book…
I watch the most spectacular cinematic chronicles and when I get to points of immense emotional impact, click, I switch it off…
The simulated emotion sits uncomfortably on me like an old coat too tatty to wear out, but comfortable in its familiarity,
I’m no longer experiencing the calibrated highs and lows, I’m not feeding on the universal smorgasbord of oscillating emotions,
Authentic emotion seems out of reach often, other than within my own inner realms,
I’m annoyed, I’m living more and more in the grey, the world outside less appealing,
The mirage of reality fraying at the edges, the hologram waning,
The space between stop and go is insurmountable, I’m always at a crawl…
Awakening is an instinctual discerner,
Who must consciously choose when to engage, automation has ceased,
I now either fully partake in the expression unfolding even relishing the hellish drama, or I disengage into the solace of silence,
The silence that finds me trudging through the quagmire of my inner world more naturally, more often,
Navigating the darkest recessed of the forgotten depths of Me,
I am loving and hating the evolution of self, doing less, allowing more,
Often in a faux ceremony, all my disowned, dishevelled and distorted parts of my self being given a voice, even if just for an uneasy moment,
I frequently find I’m travelling through psychedelic worm holes and experiencing deja vu,
And the discomfort of emotional purging dims with each sweet immersion,
All the while navigating the busy- ness of my everyday life,
Living a life within a life,
Exploring the world within this World,
Within the infinite Me and You!
I feel fuller, there’s more space behind the personality, I’ve found a gateway to worlds…:
It’s a lonely journey… this separation from self, this weaning from reality…
The gut rendering dissection, the allowing of the taboo, it’s the truth telling, the self-exploration, the passion, the rawness and complete exposure of self!
But there is no other way… It’s the ickiness of being human, the awkwardness of self-discovery and mostly for me it’s about being bone chillingly honest with the one person that counts YOU!