Keep me dancing to the song of self acceptance and love. Let it drip from my soul into my body. Drifting free of judgment and misconception. We spend our moments singing to the wrong tune wondering why we aren’t fulfilled in our lives. It’s in the knowing through our experiences. Only when we start to explore ourselves to the deepest darkest points of what we truly want and desire, do we start to grow. We start to express what we want not what we think people want from us. We take back what was always ours. Our true magnificence, our souls essence starts to pour out of us with such a powerful flow, that it becomes surreal. I have been experimenting with myself and the deep depths that I run to on every level. Relentlessly I might add.. I have broken apart completely this week with extreme levels of emotion. We have to fall apart, to unlearn the bull shit we have been fed our entire life. There cannot be any form of growth without pain. So in feeling into my deepest suppressions and childhood trauma, it has created space for new adventures to take place. Don’t let people’s opinions shape your opinion of yourself. Self worth on this journey is imperative to survival. Gently moving forward with grace integrity and love. Head up weary souls. This shit ain’t just rainbows and butterflies. Remember there cannot be a rainbow without the storm. All in transformation. I search for more everyday, experiencing what makes me tick. All in complete gratitude in the necessary steps that brought me to this moment. Feel everything, the pain, the anger, the resentment, the love, the vulnerabilities life brings. That feeling your feeling in you chest. That is life force and that means your alive.. breath it in.. soak it all up.. live your moment.. love like there is no tomorrow.. let go of control.. explore more.. life is one crazy adventure.. might as well enjoy it!
Today upon awakening, I decided I would wear my imperfections for all to see. I am no angel, I am human just like the rest of you. I have great days where I feel like I am surfing my wave with grace and ease. There are days where I just make the shore. Then there are the days I am not proud of, the day where I dunked myself under every potential surf. The days where I’m impatient, short tempered, rude, judgmental, unfair and unkind… the list goes on! I am not perfect in any shape or form. I doubt anyone is.. I have moments when I feel I’ve got being a mom fully under control, I look at my boys with such appreciation and i am proud to be their mom. I push myself to limits that I’m not sure many could comprehend, but with that comes the flip side, I then become my own worst enemy. I question myself and my ability to be the best mom I can be, there are days where I am tired and overworked, my boys are wild and out of hand. My temper fluctuates. My patience is non existent, I literally want to pull the hair from my head. These are the days that haunt me, the days I could of done better, chosen a different method. These are the things I am not proud of. I love and live for my boys to the point where I forget to live for myself. I push myself to levels of complete burn out and then get annoyed with myself because I am not the mom I strive to be. Then I sit and realize that I am human and I need some time out, there is a lack of balance between work, family and my imaginary time out.. lol.. so today I wear my imperfections for all to see. Why.. because this is me owning them! I am trying every day, digging deeper into myself layer by layer. I aim to to be the best version of me, to not only change who I have been genetically programmed to be, to also be something my children can look up to and one day be thankful that they chose me to journey with in life. Then after all this, I wish to be the change, I want to change the world as we know it. No small task, I know right. But with every step I take, I know I get a little closer. I stand today displaying everything that makes me, me. I am owning all I am, there is no other way forward than through acceptance of the things we cannot change. I get another chance every day. In full gratitude and love for the journey that has brought me to this moment in time. Only love
I am too much women, with a light that is blinding and a dark that is deafening. I have spent a lifetime dulling my playful inner child all due to my passionate intensity. I have been experiencing my inner child’s playfulness and levels of expression of late, and it exhausts me to a point where I am starting to have an idea of the extreme levels of power I hold within.
This flaming fiery, fierce, passionate, mischievous goddess that has an innocence that wishes the world to join her in her song, to dance till the early morn. This little magical gypsy is not for the faint hearted. She ignites everything she touches with a lingering scent of mystery and fun with the next adventure in sight. She dances in the moonlight with this enchanting seductiveness.
This alluring nature calls most in to play until they get lost in her wake. Her blunt openness entices most to want to engage with her, trying to contain her and control her wild spirit, only to be left in the aftermath with her ash still present in the dense air, with only her scent to hold onto. She cannot be caged nor owned. Her soul is wild and free with the taste of spontaneous love and adventure on her lips.
Those who dare, a word of caution, feed her with appreciation and love. The moment she feels that she holds no value in your mind, heart and soul, she moves with haste in fear of having a piece of her innocence stolen. I am a wildfire soul here to change this world. Watch me burn my fucking name into everything I touch. My fire grows every day as i slowly fall in love with myself again.
Just too much women…
Stop being afraid to own your fire, we have all wasted too much time doubting and dulling ourselves down in fear of what “they” think. Come dance with me gypsies of the night.
I am free.. I am me..
Whispers in the dead of night dancing in the wind, while gently swaying in the moonlights song. Creeping secrets of stories untold, a haunting tale to unfold ,while it drips through the cracks of our perfect mould. Dance with me in this midnight summers dream. If you listen closely, you can hear her scream. Shattering voices echo through my soul. Feeling empty, drifting away into the evening mist. I feel as though I’ve lost all control. This empty void of a lost song never sung, still sitting on the edge of my tongue. Dancing in the candlelight, spinning round and round to life’s twisted melody, chanting spells of solace sound. It is for you she sings her heart song, for it was you all along. Time was not kind, that fatal grip where she almost lost her mind. Lost in the sonorous moment. Back and forth we go, dancing to the endless paradox of this sultry rhythm. Relentlessly curious of what lies beneath it all in search of the cure to this insatiable unquenchable thirst for more.