So your Ex is a bitch hey?
I can’t say that I can relate in any way to the tons of posts on Facebook that focus on belittling and ripping into our “Exes. ”
It’s amazing how many people jump on the bandwagon and the level of nastiness that gets expressed. I think we conveniently forget that at some stage of our lives these people were our best friends, our lovers and our confidants. And of course we are always just magically the ones that did nothing wrong.
I am blessed to say that I have no demonic “Exes.”
I just have a group of special ladies that I was able to share a part of my life with, and hence I learnt from them. I also accept that I wronged many of them in some way as I learned to grow and mature.
So… thank you to those wonderful people that joined your hearts to mine at some stage. Thank you for the lessons. You live in my memories now.
I recognize and salute you
I already have all of the oceans of love and fear present and available to me in this drop that I see as self. Ever present, able to make itself manifest and known through my choosing.
The magnitude of every strain of light and dark already interwoven into the tapestry of my being, ready to be reflected in any way I choose, with every magnificent strain of frequency in-between.
What is it I could ever become, If I am already all things ?
Surely I can not become light nor dark.
Perhaps I can become more conscious, as a creator, of what part of all things I wish to perceive, to which I give my awareness and daily energy allowance whilst in this form.
I am already all things, it’s just learning that I can choose what part of the wind I want to dance in.
It’s choosing when to be the leaf dancing, or when to be the wind blowing.
It’s about knowing that I am the creator of the wildest storms as well as the calm Eye at the core .
Most people tell me that time fades everything until its a vague memory . I have never understood time or the distance it creates in our hearts. I certainly don’t live in the past. Yet when I sit in silence and allow my memories to flood forth. I remember every friend I held close. I remember every kiss, every love. I remember my most painful moments with such clarity. The emotions are so real and authentic to me still. I carry every love in its original essence.
These impressions that certain people have recorded into my soul seem to transcend any erosion of time .
As tho it was just yesterday that those smiles, smells and connections filled my world.
I am certainly not haunted by my past. Yet I find my inner worlds often flooded with thoughts and images of people from decades ago .
I hold every connection I have made in a special vault . One that seems impervious to the ravages of time .
Its on quiet nights that I open it , and have a look around
The fact, that you could ever be broken, is just as much an illusion, that you could ever be whole. At least the part of you considering my statement couldn’t. You are a multidimensional fractal of pure ever changing consciousness,expressing in a frozen moment in time and space. Essentially we are a single organism, so any adventures of self-actualized identity we choose to adventure into, will always leave spiritual and emotional holes, as they are fundamentally based in illusion in the first place. The leaves sometimes choose to fall from the tree of safety and benevolence, but the ornithological adventurer screams out in pure delight falling all the way down, even though fear of separation may well be present on baited breath. We are not expressing as a whole right now. We are tasting the highs and lows of separation and free will. Pure peace will elude us all, while we perceive ourselves in any form of separation. We can however reconnect to the sheer childlike sense of adventure that brought us to choose to perceive ourselves as individual, lost and separate in the first place. The childlike spirit that launched our leaves into the wind away from the safety of the tree. You can fall in love with your humanness, with your missing puzzle pieces, and the sheer madness of our own separate mind, and the boggling pain of a lonely heart. You can fall in love with the cosmic adventure all over again.
Suddenly there is nothing to fix, you see only imperfect perfection staring back at you in the mirror. You will see such beauty in your shattered pieces, finding higher truths and love anyway amidst a sea of chosen confusion and chaos. And you laugh to yourself thinking, ‘If I wanted to experience individuality and separation… I may as well do an epic job of it so that I return in full appreciation to what we were all along. I want to be lost and it’s actually an epic journey as I slowly find my way home. Chances are I have found my way home many times before in full enlightenment.’ Yet it does not take long before the child in you says, “Hmmm where else can I go? How deep into amnesia can I explore and still find my way home? Dare I even try somewhere like Earth?”
An adventurous question that is impossible for an old soul not to explore.
We are all the same inside!
Have we ever considered… (Guides rattling my cage) …that holding universal perceptions, the pure gift of a multiplicity of views on any single subject that is unfolded by the spiritual path? Have we ever considered that this does not give us the role and responsibility that we think it does? We think as spiritual beings that in holding these perceptions that seem elevated in our minds, that we should constantly sprout wisdom when presented with a vulnerable soul before us. Unfold what we think is wisdom to what we don’t realise might be the unwilling recipient of what we feel is our gift. There is no doubt that once one opens the multidimensional mind, no issue can ever be viewed in the simplicity of black and white. Yet does being given, or choosing to have this overview mean that it is what is needed to be shared? Perhaps the thing we miss, as vulnerable guides, lost in our own right, is that they are unfolding their own perfect truth at their own chosen pace. One can’t help think that as much as modern psychology is lost in its own wilderness they have one profound thing right. The counselor is taught to merely act as the mirror, the reflective substance in conversation that allows the soul in question to gently unfold the truth, which they are being promoted to, and truly already know. The one strength that in my limited perception a modern counselor has, is they do not claim to know the dynamics of the problem, and hence the constructs of the solution. Perhaps in these raw, vulnerable hours what is needed, is to truly just listen. Truly just allow someone to drop their magnificent struggle upon the reflective waters of your soul. Maybe all we need to do is truly, truly hold space and listen. I realise I sometimes have a habit of offending or disturbing the status quo. Yet am I the only one who finds it disturbing how opinionated these “awake” souls can become. It’s like the more they experience whispers from eternity (which I have no doubt are authentic) the more they feel that this must be the path, the truth and the liberation for all. How can we not see that in the mind of God, all ways of reaching realisation are valid. How can we not see that our path of unfoldment was our own. It worked for you, its sacred for you, it’s true for you. That’s you my blessed brother. People do not need a lecture. They do not need to be told what in truth they already know. How is this not arrogance? Hijacking our own divine. Each man unfolds his own path, His own secret whisper. And who are we to deter his process? Have we ever considered? Have we ever considered that all they need is absolute acceptance no matter what they have done? Have we ever considered that all we have to do is smile and say, “it’s okay.” Have we ever considered that the ego hijacks our multidimensional mind by convincing us that our own perceptions are elevated and more relevant? The more permission slips we get spiritually the harder we are to be around, and truly let’s be honest the less accepting we become of opposing views. My soul calls BULLSHIT if a man follows your truth, he walks away from his own. These are all very hard questions for the beings that we are, as healers, as friends. Can we ask these questions beyond self-importance that being awake brings? I will be so bold in this hour of reflection to say, “Fuck my opinions! Fuck others opinions. You are perfect just as you are. You don’t need advice. You need love and acceptance while you find the bravery to see your own truth expanding into purity. I love you as you are. I offer myself, as do you, as a pure reflection of the greatest game ever played. Welcome to Earth. There is no such thing as enlightened, if it is not awash with absolute acceptance of all things and all beings, EXACTLY where they are in their process of self-liberation. Who are we to place a time constraint on the magnificent script they write for themselves. Welcome to Earth. Where one day we will stop trying to change things, and in that moment, there will be nothing to change.”
Have we ever considered this before we sprout wisdom again?
I stood glued to the spot, high on top of the building last night. The world moved around me in a weird deep house induced montage, raised high above the dark city beneath the open bright sky. I watched as a thousand stories unfolded before me. As the song rose to a crescendo, timed to perfection, all the smiles kicked in with the bass ~ God! And as we worshiped with movement, each aware of the other, we all knew one thing… it was time to smile and dance.
Each smiling, bobbing movement told a story, all of the stories flooding at me almost became too much for my heart. As I stood glued to the spot they unfolded, the smile of sheer desperation, the smile of true happiness, the smile of pure love and right beside me, a lady stood whose light had long gone out behind her eyes … when I smiled at her, she merely moved her lips round in an expression she had once known, trying to mimic the warm behavior of old. We both knew in that moment that her soul was slowly dying … her eyes reached out to me for a second, yet just as quickly she looked away. We both knew that I couldn’t help her; the reality she had chosen was her own. Her smile was now merely a flickering shadow hitting her cave wall.
Many realities dancing in the night, heaven and hell rubbing shoulders with one another. As I touched shoulders with these beautiful beings I connected to, so many stories, so much pain. Hopeless addictions running rampant amongst the damaged yet boundless hearts of men, jumping from back to back like a crazed monkey long off his leash, answering to none!
A strange moon began to rise; my friend leaned over to me and said, “It’s a blood moon brother, which means this is the end.” I playfully replied, “Or this is just the beginning…” A second wave of happiness hit the crowd, the preacher behind the decks spinning his web. Trying to catch everyone in this moment of joy, the web held strong and pulled me in yet again.
It’s as though high up above the city everyone tried to forget the war that went on for them below. Only one tall building loomed above us, and in a strange twist of irony the ABSA sign loomed over the dancing souls, corporate control was never far behind, almost mockingly allowing that moment of reprieve … ‘we will let you think you are free tonight’ the sign mockingly glowed and flickered.
I walked to the edge of the roof as the people pulsed up and down. Moving like a single amoebic organism glued with a thousand unique smiles. I looked down and saw the city unfolding beneath me, the city that had once been my hell and now was my heaven. How many of those streets I had walked, how many lessons and worlds they had held for me in the past!
Here high above the city the organism danced, soaking up a rare opportunity to feel as one. For some it was the only time they were not alone.
And yet, even though the moonlight saw this scene, it couldn’t help but think about those far below in the dark corners fighting the battles of their existence in the cesspools of night. With darkness all around the building rose up into the shady sky. With a new song the flame of the people grew brighter and as they danced the twelve-story candle grew stronger still. It would illuminate the city for just one night.
All knew that soon the metal carriages below would have to transport them back to their own street, back to their own reality, back to their own wars. Yet for this moment in time we were free. I moved out of my mind and back into my body. I rejoined the organism and began to dance … worshipping in the moonlight!
And I whispered to myself between steps, “This planet truly is the greatest game ever played!”
So you speak for God?
If there is a Prime Creating force behind all of limitless creation, I somehow doubt it picks sides in our man-made dispute, belief systems and different religions.
If this cosmic unifying intelligence had to make a judgment or an opinion at all, an opinion perhaps on one of the wars playing out upon this speck of creations eternity, on the squabbles in this corner of an endless universe…
What side would be taken?
I am pretty sure it would be denouncing all sides. I am pretty sure that the cosmic fabric would express sadness. Sadness that we have tried to convince ourselves and others that some are superior or chosen in any way.
I feel there would be great sadness expressed that we each think our understanding of the universal love is superior in any way.
In an endless sea, ”God” has allowed us to express and understand him, in our own unique way. Our very own secret relationship, whisper and handshake with the almighty presence within ourselves.
I think this intelligence would express sadness that we try and force our own universal dance of perception on others.
Like sunflowers marching against fields of daisies, telling them how to be…?
Sadness at the fact that we think any belief gives us any sense of entitlement over others.
From the smallest species to entire races…
None of creation is any less relevant or any less of a miracle.
These are not God’s words as each group likes to protectively proclaim
They are man’s words. In all his fear, separations and control.
His limited interpretation of eternity.
The unquantifiable expression translated by the human mind
True messages from the Prime Creating force never get lost in translation. They are never hidden. They are in every kiss, every tear, and every smile.
The messages are always the same. No matter your upbringing, your skin color or your education.
For those who will listen, the highest truth can be heard and seen at every moment.
It’s the message of unconditional love.
Love in all its uncomplicated glory.
Oneness beyond all boundaries.
All interpretations that contradict it in any way are man-made lies.
It’s time to unplug from the eons old control system of belief itself.
Let them argue over the ancient deceptions and arrogant truths.
Let them bicker and twist scraps and scrolls fallen off ancient tables.
We are the “Bringers of the Dawn”.
Open your heart and allow the only universal truth to emanate from you.
Silence your judgments and opinions so that eternal truth may flood from your being.
Live your highest calling.
Live a life of absolute love.
While they split hairs we will unite worlds.
While they compare differences, we will glorify similarities.
While they quote texts and preach beliefs, we will silently, powerfully emanate love.
The same love at the core of every teaching they now claim to represent.
We are the ”Bringers of the Dawn”.
Truth is beyond interpretation.
We live in Love … with all that is.
A life that sees no sides.
Just as I imagine this Prime Creating God source would do.
The souls door swings from a broken hinge
While we all chase the madness of our vanity, the shadows of our goals. Ones that can never bring substance to our lives. Hypnotic events of happiness that will forever remain a mirage on elusive horizons.
Long forgotten, the broken children and shattered souls sit in the corner quietly weeping.
The race losers brought to their knees.
Too broken to chase anymore
Yet hurting to much to keep still
Silently behind painful broken features
Tired eyes close, and one turns within
Encountering the gentle light of eternity
patiently waiting inside
” You were gone for so long this time my child ”
Do you really know anything about yourself?
Have you ever sat down and perceived yourself from the outside?
Can you perceive yourself through another’s eyes?
What are you like, to be around? To talk to?
I have a personal philosophy that I often think of and see confirmed in the things I see unfold around me.
We are only able to truly perceive another person. Never ourselves.
We are able to easily see another’s nature, their patterns, their strengths, even their flaws.
Yet, we are blind to our own…
In reality we have no idea what we are like to be around. We have no clue what it’s like to talk to ourselves, to interact with ourselves.
Now don’t get me wrong, we all have this secret set of beliefs of what we ourselves think we are actually like.
My life long observation of the human condition has taught me that a person’s inner belief of what they think they are projecting, who they think they are to other people, almost never matches the view and experience that others have of you.
Why is this?
I have watched people so carefully over the years, with what I feel is an open heart.
I have watched people that nearly no one likes. I have interacted with people that have no friends. I have spent time with people that have no one in the world. I have watched friends that everyone believes to be an attention seeker.
The list goes on and on and is irrelevant.
What I would like to share with you is an observation that always blows my mind.
Not of a judgement of their behaviours. Of something even more profound…
The fact that not a single one of these people know why?
None of them are aware of what is so painfully obvious to observe and conclude for the neutral open hearted outsider.
The person that I refer to, the one almost no one likes or speaks fondly of. He has absolutely no idea that people feel that way about him, never mind why they feel that way which is also painfully obvious to any outsider.
Once again the person I am referring to that has no friends. He has no idea why……. He blames the world or pretends he does not notice. Yet for anyone who spends more than two minutes with him will tell you that he does not listen at all.
My acquaintance that is a drama addict and attention seeker has no idea that nearly every single person in her life thinks this and expresses this about her.
She cannot see what is so obvious to the whole world.
Just as often they are positive, these ‘things’ that we can’t see. Like our own strength or beauty.
I often wish that I could approach those people with deep love and empathy, and tell them what it is they don’t see. Tell them what others say about them and why. I wish I could show them how pure my love was when I shared.
And if they were not ready, would they even hear?
We all know that it would not work out too well. We can only hope that we can each find a person in our lives that we are able to trust and be brave enough to express the unbridled truth with.
I would like to once again express that I am in no way judging or dismissing these behaviours.
What I am doing is trying to paint a picture to explain my theory.
We are incredibly intuitive and insightful about those that surround us.
Yet we do not know ourselves at all.
We whisper lies to ourselves about who we really think we are.
And it almost never matches what the world perceives or what you are really putting out there.
People become so angry when someone says something hurtful about their nature. We immediately defend with absolute horror. Defending the lies of our own ego.
In my observations and personal experiences I often hear the words, ”You don’t know me?”
These words often shoot out when a painful truth or observation is made.
So my question is simple:
Who’s version of reality do you think is closer to the true energy you are emitting?
Is it your own self-perception of yourself?
Or the perception of those who spend the most time with you, have of you?
Well it is my theory that they actually know you better than you know yourself.
I have begun to think that one of the great hidden secrets of this world lie in this enigma.
The key to liberating yourself from your own ego mind, from your own inner tales and deception. The key to truly knowing the earthbound part of your personality lies in the perceptions of others.
The ultimate tool used against us is the spread of the virus: “Judgement”.
An entire world of people pointing their fingers and making harsh statements and opinions about everyone they see.
Yet no one is brave enough to turn those same observations upon themselves.
So we are left with a world of blind fools pointing fingers everywhere other than at themselves.
Can you imagine how fast we would grow as people, if we figured out how to constructively and lovingly share things that we externally observe? Things we observe about those we are closest to.
Can you imagine how powerfully we could transform and transcend life themes and issues if we were able to push the ego defences aside and listen to what your best friend told you about yourself?
How powerful would it be if we learned to take constructive criticism?
Furthermore we realise if someone shares something that is not true, there will be no emotional response. If someone says they hate my yellow jacket, yet i do not own one, why would I become offended by their statement? I would just shrug it off.
Imagine two friends talking and the one says to the other, ”Hey, I don’t know if you know this but you are always very bitchy and rude to your mother. It sounds really childish and attacking. I just want to make you aware of this ”
Can you imagine how differently society would be if she answered, “My God, are you serious? …… Are you sure? Wow, I have never ever noticed that, that would explain why we fight so much and can’t talk civilly. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. I am going to try to be more aware of that or at least try to understand where it is coming from”
My life is changing so fast since I have figured this out.
I cannot see myself for how I truly am… in particular certain flaws that the ego hides or justifies away from the screen of my conscious awareness.
I could quite literally have snot all over my face and my ego would not allow me to see it.
One of the hidden esoteric and psychological keys to transcending your life circumstance is that you can only know yourself through the eyes of another (the earthbound personality aspect).
I think that it is one of the greatest and most ingenious things that the Source or God energy has instilled in physical life.
We each hold the keys for each other.
Until we are able to move past judgment, until we are able to move into pure love and realise we are all one, we will be cursed to know ourselves even less than those that we judge and hurt with our words.
It takes more courage than you could ever imagine to allow someone to constructively observe, and perhaps even lovingly criticize certain aspects of the enigma that is your nature.
Your face will burn, your anger will rage. You will want to lash out and scream, defend, argue. You will want to storm away. The stronger your response the more truth there is being said. Truth your ego does not want you to hear. Besides it’s never your fault!
Your ego will rage inside you …. Afraid that you might figure out how to transcend the spell it has locked over you . The ego mind will tear at you from inside rather than let you realise that the key to liberating yourself lies in the perceptions of those that surround you.
The single most powerful state a human can be in, is in a state where they are able to make it clear to anyone that they are surrounded by, that they are very approachable and accept criticism with absolute valour.
When you are truly ready to own your own shit.
When you are truly ready to know and accept the parts of you that you are currently blind to.
When you are ready to break the egos spell.
The key to your liberation lies in others and what they will share with you if they feel safe enough to.
The mirror by which you can truly see yourself is in the face of a loved one.
Your relationship with people, lovers, friends and family… Is your relationship with God.
I am ready to see what it is that I was always too scared to see. What I was not ready to own and admit.
And now that I am in this state, the Source of all life is bringing me the keys through those that love me. I have allowed the world to feel that I am brave enough to be critiqued and criticised. I have proven to my loved ones that I won’t attack if they share their perceptions.
And it has been beyond difficult. I truly could not see what it is that the world sees. I truly can’t see the truth of what it is I am emitting into the Universe.
I am calling out my own lies. I am slowly bringing the world of who I think I am and the world of who I really am together.
I hope I can continue to be courageous enough to stay in this state of acceptance.
I can only imagine how many more keys to unlocking my own psychology will be brought to me if I surrender to the most difficult truths.
I want to thank every being that has ever shared a perception they had of me, with me. The ones that I am most thankful for are the ones that seemed so hurtful at the time.
We will one day realise that we can all heal each other.
We are all dancing inside the mind of God trying to figure out what it is we are.
I am starting with the man in the mirror. He is the only way I can help save the world. To clear my own soul’s lens enough that the Eternal Light will flow through me into this dark world.
So that’s my theory of life. How to truly know thyself without the deception of the ego. You stop talking, stop defending, stop clinging to your own story.
And you listen deeply to those that surround you.
Slowly you will know thyself.
If you wish to know God as well.
Close your eyes and turn within.
He is inside you patiently waiting for you to look into His eternal mirror.
When your outer and inner worlds align.
You will for the first time in absolute awe, realise who and what it is that you actually are.
And the answer is magnificent beyond imagination.
(Inspired by those in my Life that give me the strengths to see my own faults )