Soul Journey

I have an incredibly strong feeling inside of me. It’s the hardest feeling in the world to describe, and what’s even more confusing is that my instinct screams at me to attempt to share it with the world. So I pick up my pencil late one night and try.
It’s an intense emotion that makes you feel sad waves that bring fresh warm tears, strangely though, it is a happy feeling. Happy because it is such a pure emotion, it washes through my scarred soul, like the quicksilver of love slowly spreading through my veins. It gently begins to mend the cuts and scars that have been there longer than I care to remember. It feels like all emotions have been unreal until this one. It’s a feeling of a peaceful understanding, I feel like I have woken up in the middle of a very difficult dream. I suddenly see the infinite, perfect beauty of an artistic tapestry beyond our everyday scope!
I have woken up in the middle of the dream and all I can do is stand here on the proverbial sidewalk of my life’s road. Standing like a statue amongst the moving throngs of people pushing past me. People seem focused on the reality before them, living the dream to their fullest capacity, each writing their own script. I only hear whispers of their stories as they rush past, these soon fade into the background of everything as they dissolve into the fog.

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And as I stand, the tears run, they wash down my dust stained face and slowly seep over my smiling lips. I rub my head with my hands, half-crying, half-laughing. It’s as though my heart has just begun to work and it is experiencing true love for the first time, the only emotion that exists in eternity and beyond our dreams.
The sheer enormity of the realization of perfection in action is so daunting, so beautiful, that I am scared to move. I am scared I will lose this clarity, lose my footing and be swept up in the crowd, soon forgetting the masterful overview of the picture.
I feel the tears dripping off my chin now as they fall to meet the Mother beneath my feet. I cry deeply yet happily as I truly let go for the first time!
I begin to realize how much hurt and pain lies deep within me, begging to be acknowledged, wanting to be let into the releasing light of awareness and recognition, and more importantly to transcend into acceptance. I realise how much pain I have carried from so many lifetimes, so many stories I have been part of.
As my life stands briefly on pause I awaken to a moment of sheer bliss. With it, comes the realization that this will eventually be something I look back on one day, beyond the mortal veil. Something I look back upon as the greatest experience of my endless existence. Like that summer of your youth that seems so perfect in hindsight. The friends and first loves, the pain and the lessons. That summer you catch yourself pining over, the summer you long to repeat again to experience those firsts one more time. “If only I knew then what I do now… “, you think to yourself, “I would have stopped and breathed, gratefully taking it all in.”

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Before me the people, objects and places that surround me begin to arrange themselves, they all seem to be flying around madly with apparent formless chaos. No sooner had they begun then a pattern begun to appear, a pattern started to develop like jumbled pixels on a television screen. They slowly started to come into focus. I almost lean forward in anticipation as the image slowly unfolds before me. I realize I am looking at a mirror image of myself, exactly the same and yet so different. I see myself objectively for the first time, as I reach out and wipe away some of the tears off my double’s face. I smile through the deep beautiful pain (that I somehow now know is more sacred than gold, as it transforms into the butterfly within me.)
I realize how beautiful I am for the first time. Slowly the illusions of many mistaken and fear inducing man-made beliefs begin to melt off me like an ice formation seeing its first spring sun. All Judgement and perception of wrong and right, of good and bad slowly melt and fall off me like unwanted baggage. My heart thaws as I take my first breath as a free man, my partner nods approvingly as he steps towards me and dissolves onto me, oh sweet merge of mine! All I see before me now are a thousand different ways I have taught myself that all there is, is Love!
I feel like the innocent sensitive child I once was, even more filled with bewilderment as the story of love never seems to stop growing. I open my eyes and I can perceive no wrong in his actions or those around me. I now see only a magnificently written play, casting and starring you as the lead and co-starring thousands of people and a million moments that all exist to bring this one magnificent rapture into existence … the moment that my understanding of love breathes deeply, expanding and growing until it settles into its new perspective. The moment of growth is felt through the universe as it echoes through eternity.
As the last of the hard judgemental and opinionated ice thaws and slides off my tear stained face, crashing towards Mother as an offering for recycling in her next great set design, I begin to laugh as I suddenly realize that my darkest hours where my finest moments.
Every thought and event that I ever wanted to sweep under the carpet, judge and categorise, seem so damn perfect in hindsight, they were the true twist in the perfect plot that would lead me back to the only truth that can ever be found, that the only permanent reality is Love … “Surely an Oscar winning performance?”, I playfully gesture to the heavens in question.
The sheer perfection of how I had written the script on Mother’s stage dawned on me further. How I had slowly pushed myself to my own personal birth of truth, of understanding a new purity of Love.
How far down the rabbit hole could we go? I wondered how many magnificent times and places I had delved into to reach and explore the endless sea of Source Love that embraced me now. No sooner had I asked the question, through an explosion of consciousness, I became aware of every part of myself, spread across space and time. All aspects of myself stopped and acknowledged each other in a single moment, the only moment there is, the eternal now. The moment was brief, but lasted for ever. We sealed it with a knowing smile before our unity begun to slip away from us and we found ourselves with our limited perspectives once more (somehow less lonely though).
I once again experienced myself as separate to other things, but I kept the secret smiling deep in my ancient heart.

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I realize that we create a physical reality out of the endless sea of consciousness that is us, a reality where we can perceive a start and a finish and perceive duality… the perfect growing environment to cultivate experiential growth. There is no time or space in the divine quantum matrix. In those moments we realise we always end where we started, we just know this place better each time.
Our higher selves never went anywhere at all. We were always just love in the endless stream of consciousness trying to perceive itself through new eyes. We are assimilations of our own experiences. Many heads on one self-actualising yet perfect creature observing itself from countless angles. Slowly weaving yet another thread of perfection, a new shade of Love, into the ultimate tapestry of the Divine matrix.
Who knew where I would pop up next? After this place who knows what magnificent seeds of Love we will sow, grow and reap!

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My name is Nathan Raaths. I have walked among giants and cowered with thieves. I have swam through darkness and addiction, I have battled great foes, outwards and within. I have climbed mountains soaring with elation and I to have survived nights so dark my own soul’s flame flickered threatening to go out. I have been the knight in shining armour and a dark villain to match. I have fulfilled my roles as the victim, the saviour and even the perpetrator. I have played my role in your script as have you in mine. I have loved and been loved, lost and been lost!  I have screamed and cried, I have suffered; I have laughed, lived and risen again.
I have stood on each square of this mighty board, experienced the enormity of what we are from every angle, and stand now silently understanding how it all equates to a perfect formula of unconditional Love.
I am Nathan Raaths (this part of me anyway) and every perfect moment, decision and event has brought me to this place. I only perceive past because I am trying to understand what it is that makes me exactly who I am, I only perceive future because I want to be anything other than what I already am.
In the Highest reality
I Simply Am
I Am

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My slow journey to personal truth and self-realisation is so incredibly unique it can be shared by no other. Just as it is, with yours. There is no value in us walking the same realization path of understanding. We must forge many paths through the endless jungles of our own cosmic minds.
I recognise I am on my knees now filled with gratitude for this realisation!
It’s then that I caught my first glimpse of you, seated beneath the tree in the park trying to get the needle into your shaking arm. You were beautiful and perfect beyond words. My soul bowed down to you saluting your process. Not for a second did I think I needed to share my truth, although I am sure I would help you find your own along the way. I had no doubt you had your own magnificent script in action … as your eyes glazed over and the saliva escaped your gaping mouth I stood in awe of you.
I am honoured to watch you become self-realized, I have no opinion of the path you have chosen, and the destruction you need to go through to get there.
I will watch you reach your perfect moment my friend, and I could not possibly be so stupid as to judge how it is you decide to teach yourself about a deeper love, I salute your mastery. Until then my arms are open and my heart gaping wide with perfect acceptance.
I am bursting to explore the infinite types of Love in existence as each new discovery becomes part of the true me. And so it was that I was able to wait no more, I sat down to mastermind my new script, and so it began…
“I knew I was done with this realm. I remember vaguely feeling my body collapsing beneath me.

The child was born on a cold wet day watched only by a bemused ally cat. He came onto the red planet screaming and upset, shielded only from the cold by dumpster 249, a small  shiny blanket held up by his mother’s weary arms, and lastly by the few rays that broke through the dark sky from the three purple suns!
The mother looked gently down at him and began to cry when she saw an eternity of innocence escaping his eyes.”

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Your Friend

Nathan Raaths

Religulous (larry charles) as usual only for fearless minds

The irony of religion is that because of its power to divert man to destructive courses, the world could actually come to an end. The plain fact is, religion must die for mankind to live. The hour is getting very late to be able to indulge in having in key decisions made by religious people. By irrationalists, by those who would steer the ship of state not by a compass, but by the equivalent of reading the entrails of a chicken. George Bush prayed a lot about Iraq, but he didn’t learn a lot about it. Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It’s nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith, and enable and elevate it are intellectual slaveholders, keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified so much lunacy and destruction. Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don’t have all the answers to think that they do. Most people would think it’s wonderful when someone says, “I’m willing, Lord! I’ll do whatever you want me to do!” Except that since there are no gods actually talking to us, that void is filled in by people with their own corruptions and limitations and agendas. And anyone who tells you they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you don’t. How can I be so sure? Because I don’t know, and you do not possess mental powers that I do not. The only appropriate attitude for man to have about the big questions is not the arrogant certitude that is the hallmark of religion, but doubt. Doubt is humble, and that’s what man needs to be, considering that human history is just a litany of getting shit dead wrong. This is why rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only moderately religious really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace and comfort that religion brings you actually comes at a terrible price. If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you’d resign in protest. To do otherwise is to be an enabler, a mafia wife, for the true devils of extremism that draw their legitimacy from the billions of their fellow travelers. If the world does come to an end here, or wherever, or if it limps into the future, decimated by the effects of religion-inspired nuclear terrorism, let’s remember what the real problem was that we learned how to precipitate mass death before we got past the neurological disorder of wishing for it. That’s it. Grow up or die.

Is Religion or Philosophy to Blame?

In 2006 the war raged between Israel and Hezbollah in the Middle East; in May 2007 confrontation erupted once again. This conflict appears to be based on religious differences; or more bluntly, religious intolerance and hatred between certain individual followers of Islam and Judaism. The hatred and conflict in the region has been practically been ongoing since the creation in 1948 of the state of Israel. There appears no end in sight to the current fighting in southern Lebanon. Even in the same region of the world, Shiite and Sunni Muslims in Iraq are teetering on the brink of full-scale civil war over religious differences, as well as other matters.

Historically there have been many conflicts and atrocities seemingly committed over religious and philosophical differences. Christianity has had its share of conflicts. The crusades were a series of military campaigns designed to recapture Jerusalem and the Holy Land from the Muslims. Since the 16th century there has been much conflict and tension between Catholics and Protestants; the conflict in Northern Ireland for example.

There was the appalling Holocaust committed by the Nazi’s of Germany, where an estimated 6 millions Jews were killed. Like cattle to the slaughter-all because of hatred.

We could list many more accounts of conflict and atrocities that has transpired throughout history and in more graphic detail. There hardly is a place on Earth that has escaped religious or philosophical conflict over the ages. In the last 100 years there has been millions, upon millions, upon millions of people killed due to conflict. Not to mention the devastation to wildlife and the ecological damage to mother Earth.

Why do People Follow a Religion or Philosophical Belief?

Many people follow a religion because it’s part of their family or tribal heritage and culture. For others, religion provides a feeling of security, because the divine power is believed to be watching over them and religion promises salvation and life after death. For other people, religion yields a sense of individual fulfillment and provides meaning to life.

For many people, religion and beliefs are ceremonies, practices, and worship involving a supreme God(s) or Deity. Almost all people who follow some form of religion or belief believe that a supreme being(s) created the world and influences their current lives.

Is Religion or Philosophy to Blame?

After reading the above some would believe so, however I respectfully say to the reader, no they are not. Religious and Philosophical Beliefs are not the cause of the acts of conflict and atrocities on Earth. The actions of human beings are the cause and effect. More often than not, it is the heads of governments and organizations that place the masses of ordinary people in the revolving chaos of conflict. People utilize and manipulate there religious viewpoint on others as a medium to obtain their personal, political, and ideological goals. This action is done by the human being.

I have never seen a copy of the Koran or the Bible mystically posses a gun and fire; have you ever seen that happen?

A religion or philosophical belief is not a tangible item. It cannot possibly command a plane, tank, or political office, but human beings can. Human beings give the orders.

Therefore, how can we logically state that Religious and Philosophical Beliefs are to blame? Logically, it is practically impossible for an intangible object to commit an act.

What causes the Conflict?

Fear of the unknown is the major contributor. Fear can be a very powerful emotion that can be negatively manipulated by those who seek to control and gain power. Look what Hitler did to the people of Germany in the 1930’s. Sometimes human beings destroy that what they fear and don’t understand.

People also oppress people, deny them knowledge, and or a certain lifestyle. Oppressed people quite simply do not know any different. Also, some people simply do not desire growth of knowledge and choose to remain in their current state. The problem of the unknown is that people are unaware of something else, either by their own free choice or not.

History has shown us that people, cultures, nations attacked each other because of their desire to dominate and acquire more resources. However, in modern times the threat of global domination by a single nation has diminished; but the quest for power over others by the individual remains, hence the dictators of the world.

How do we Resolve the Religious and Cultural Conflict?

The 20th century gave birth to the information age. The Internet now is the key to increasing people’s awareness and knowledge of not only the Earth, but of the Universe itself. The fear of the unknown can be understood more and reduced by learning the nature of the Universe. We reside in a dimension of trillions upon trillions of stars! Some may have planetary bodies that contain life and some may not.

Information and knowledge are the pathways to increased awareness and understanding. People can became aware of other Earth races, cultures, and philosophies, both historically and present. This will lead many people to a higher level of awareness and understanding by removing the fear of the unknown.

Any person or organization who threatens another into submitting their free will to a religious faith that they do not truly desire is false. Those governments and organizations that deny the people of Earth access to public knowledge are also false. As history has shown us when you threaten a person or a nation to submit to your religious and philosophical beliefs violent conflict erupts; and it always will.

Everyone human being should have the right to choose their own religious and philosophical belief, and should be left in peace to pursue such, providing they harm no other.

One cant help hoping that one day people will realise the irony of the fact that they all believe to follow ,embody and truly know the word of God . That we will all stop hanging onto the blurred truths of passed ages. Tainted with each year by mans selfish nature and agenda .Religion and Philosophy have become a means of control,and constantly conquer and divide,the puppet masters all being human hands.
Hanging onto the past only causes more pain ,As long as we focus on our differences we will always be divided . Continuing with the same actions will always heed the same results !
Unprogramme your mind , open your eyes !

Truth, Guidance and meaning are within you and all about you …right here and right now
I have no doubt there is a higher purpose or a god .
You have to ask yourself. Am I following Gods true will or am I Brainwashed and following Mortal Mens Doctrines and understandings ? keeping you eternally sucked in with fear and pride and a desperate need for meaning .No man has Gods words or meaning !!! Especially not for another man . If he wanted to talk to you he would not send you a vague message through a corrupt broken telephone over thousands of years .

Even those special people who found there own personal paths to enlightenment , merely tried to spread their love for God through their individual perception.They tried to help open our minds to his glory … filled with the magnificents of his being and that which they felt .They were not trying to start a system of control and regulations that never differ for any soul !

They tried to inspire us, and all discoved the exact same core message about love,unity and brotherhood.
I doubt that their intentions ..or Gods ultimate plan had anything to do with the endless lists of rules and regulations and doctrines that we are forced within our religious comminities to accept “Eat this ,act this way , wear this , do this at this time , reject this , accept this, this is wrong ,this is right ,you are right ,they are wrong …bla ba bla bla ”
As long as you follow mans version of God or truth we will go round in vague guilt filled circles for eons
Liberate yourself ,break your chains , free your minds.
Stop looking for the truth and answers in others
With a clean slate and a open mind . whisper” Im listening”

Nathan Raaths

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Autobiography in five chapters..

Chapter 1:
I walk down the street
There is a big hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost… I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2:
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there
I still fall in, its habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault
I get out immediately

Chapter 4:
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.

Chapter 5:
I walk down another street.

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by sogyal rinpoche

Not for fearfull minds !!!

I Just wish you would all let go of your programmed Truths, Your beliefs enslave you. You only believe what you do because of your upbringing and your environment. Just let go of dying truths and doctrines, the doctrines of the quiet past will never suffice in the stormy present. Open you mind and soul and follow the only truth and destiny that matters, yourself and your inner path.

We look back and laugh at some of the beliefs regarding witchcraft in the Middle Ages. We look back at the witch trials and the powerful superstitions that have ruled our path and we think we have evolved beyond that. As a society our General consciousness and awareness gradually grows. Naturally there have always been from great Prophets to great scientist who have been ahead of there curve. Many of them have tried hard to lead the people, the masses, from publishing papers, to sacred texts and doctrines. I have no doubt that many of these have been divinely guided. Perhaps the higher light as well as the person in question sincerely created what they do to help evolve the thought processes. In most cases I believe that the powerful doctrines and religions played there part. Written sometimes by those whose awareness’s were so expanded that they could see greater ways and laws to guide there people. I believe that without a doubt many of these great prophets and scribes were directly guided by higher sources of light and love.

Why is that we believe the past to contain greater truths than now? Why is it that we believe god only guided and spoke to us thousands of years ago and then left us in confusion to dissect his words? Why do people never become suspicious that every single person believes that they are in the correct religion and truth, despite thousands of others existing around them? Why is everyone else wrong? Why when you except one religion, doctrine or truth to you reject all others? Why is god not sending us truth guidance , even prophets right now ?

Every single thing regarding society as well as nature constantly evolves each day with innate beauty. Medicine and its growth understanding grows each day, throwing large shadows over the beliefs of the past, Technology doubles every three years. Everything grows, everything evolves, everything breathes and moves and endless sea of possibility, gods amazing plan in action constantly turning around stones in the riverbed of mans free will and choice.

Like the martial arts student clinging to his instructors words learning techniques and ideas form thousands and of years ago in the belief of its superiority, we have become separated from spiritual growth. Why does he believe that the moves and strikes form thousands of years ago cannot be improved upon despite been proven wrong in the every day sporting world every day.

Why do you believe the past to be superior and filled with more wisdom truth and God guidance? Why are your minds backwards, why do you perpetuate the greatest lie of all time?

Why is it that you are so blind that you will only believe in greater love and guidance if it comes from centuries of old? Where the message has become so tainted and twisted by time and human hands and feeble minds .As the selfishness and fear of human nature has gradually twisted the doctrine that originally healed and freed there people to a point were today it is the very superstitious mambo jumbo that enslaves us. It divides all races and all souls, it causes most of our wars, It fills souls daily with guilt about not been able to follow their version of gods “sacred word” and judgment! It keeps souls clinging so tightly to the bottom of the riverbed as their ancestors did, so afraid to let go and allow the current to uplift them and sweep them up around the bend to new lands and pastures. And even as the currents strength speeds up and strengthens we hold tighter still. Let go and become part of gods amazing plan in action that never froze thousands of years ago. This is the greatest lie of our Millennium, the greatest evil of modern times is the very belief you hang onto to avoid the darkness.

Hundreds of years from now as we look back on our history we will laugh at our Ancient beliefs. Believing that in our magnificent journey with the greatest being imaginable that we only live for seventy years and then were judged to sit in one place and state of mind eternally! (one of my favorite superstitions)
We will smile at believing we were gods only conscious creatures and plan despite not only our planet , or solar system but Galaxy been 0.000000000000000000000000

0000001 % of the space he created!We will laugh when we know him in our hearts that we ever believe he wanted us to conform under one set of laws like sheep in the darkness , None thinking , none expressing stagnant mud pooled souls of fear , Haunted by gods words passed down for thousands of dark blurred years!

We will laugh that we ever allowed anyone else to tell us what God says!!!!

We will laugh that we believed he dropped sacred words and texts in valleys and mountains once off, thousands of years ago and then left us in a spiritual dessert for thousands of years to return one day. And that they would never be updated or improved upon

Hundreds of years from now as we look back on our history we will laugh at our Ancient beliefs, rules and superstitions. Love and freedom of expression will be the only truth that will exist.

Connected and expressing god will be as unique to each soul as every painter’s passionate expression of what he sees and feels will be. We will dance upon god’s canvas as we paint our ultimate destinies. God will smile as he moves through us , not as a distant being that once spoke to us and watches separate and from afar , but as the sea of pure energy and light that we are made up of , Although all separate , all of one .The closer we get to his heart and the more we explore our own beautiful unique map he provides us , the more , that instead of been further divided , the more we will all integrate into a one minded higher purpose
And as we become a unique puzzle piece we are no longer separate but become part of the picture. Each time you close your eyes and talk to him or ask him a question. He will open his heart to you happy to have you home in his bosom once more, the lies of his divisions and judgments and apparent rules merely a shadow of our dark past.

One day we will laugh that we thought that the answers were anywhere but within, and that there was any more sacred time but now

And that you doubted that he went anywhere at all !

Just some thoughts

Nathan Raaths

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So close to my heart !

On August 3rd, 1929 Krishnamaurti spoke to a crowd of thousands at a camp in Ommen. The crowd had gathered to hear the man that had been proclaimed a “Messiah” as a child, a “Savior”. Needless to say they where shocked and surprised by the speech that Krishnamurti gave, and the truth that he revealed. Here is a transcript of that famous 1929 speech.

We are going to discuss this morning the dissolution of the Order of the Star. Many people will be delighted, and others will be rather sad. It is a question neither for rejoicing nor for sadness, because it is inevitable, as I am going to explain.

KrishnamurtiYou may remember the story of how the devil and a friend were walking down the street, when they saw ahead of them a man stoop down and pick up something from the ground, look at it, and put it away in his pocket. The friend asked the devil, “What did that man pick up?” “He picked up a piece of the truth,” said the devil. “That is very bad business for you, then” said his friend. “Oh, not at all,” the devil replied, “I am going to help him organize it.”

I maintain that truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect. That is my point of view, and I adhere to that absolutely and unconditionally. Truth, being limitless, unconditioned, un approachable by any path whatsoever, cannot be organized; nor should any organization be formed to lead or to coerce people along any particular path. If you understand that, then you will see how impossible it is to organize a belief. A belief is purely an individual matter, and you must not organize it. If you do, it becomes dead, crystallized; it becomes a creed, a sect, a religion, to be imposed on others. This is what everyone throughout the world is attempting to do. Truth is narrowed down and made a plaything for those who are weak, for those who are only momentarily discontented. Truth cannot be brought down, rather the individual must make the effort to ascend to it. You cannot bring the mountintop to the valley. If you would attain to the mountaintop, you must pass through the valley, climb the steeps, unafraid of the dangerous precipices. You must climb towards the truth, it cannot be “stepped down” or organized for you. Interest in ideas is mainly sustained by organizations, but organizations only awaken interest from without. Interest, which is born out of love of truth for its own sake, but aroused by an organization, is of no value. The organization becomes a framework into which its members can conveniently fit. They no longer strive after the truth or the mountaintop, but rather carve for themselves a convenient niche in which they put themselves, or let the organization place them, and consider that the organization will thereby lead them truth. . . . .I maintain that no organization can lead man to spirituality.

If an organization is to be created for this purpose, it becomes a crutch, a weakness, a bondage, and must cripple the individual, and prevent him from growing, from establishing his uniqueness, which lies in the discovery, for himself of the absolute, unconditioned truth. So that is another reason why I have decided, as I happen to be the head of the order, to dissolve it. No one has persuaded me to this decision.

This is no magnificent dead, because I do not want followers, and I mean this. The moment you follow someone you cease to follow the truth. I am not concerned with whether you pay attention to what I say or not. I want to do a certain thing in the world and I am going to do it with unwavering concentration. I am concerning myself with only one essential thing: to set man free. I desire to free him from his cages, from all fears, and not to found religions, new sects, nor to establish new theories or philosophies. Then you will naturally ask me why I go the world over, continually speaking. I will tell you for what reason I do this; not because I desire a following, not because I desire I desire a special group of disciples. (How men love to be different from their fellowmen, however ridicules, absurd, and trivial the distinctions may be! I do not want to encourage that absurdity.) I have no disciples, no apostles, either on earth or in the realm of spirituality.

. . . . . . . .If there are only five people who listen, who will live, who will face their faces towards uncertainty, it will be sufficient. Of what use is it to have thousands who do not understand, who are fully embalmed in prejudice, who do not want new, but would rather translate the new to suit their own sterile, stagnant selves? If I speak strongly, please do not misunderstand me, it is not through lack of compassion. If you go to the surgeon for an operation, is it kindness on his part to operate even if it causes you pain? So, in a like manner, if I speak straightly, it is not through lack of real affection ­ on the contrary.

. . . For eighteen years you have been preparing for this event, for the Coming of the world teacher. For eighteen years you have organized, you have looked for someone who would give a new delight to your hearts and minds, who would transform your whole life, who would give you a new understanding; for someone who would raise you to a new plane of life, who would give you a new encouragement, who would set you free ­ and now look what is happening! Consider, reason with yourselves, and discover in what way belief has made you different ­ not with the superficial difference of the wearing of the badge, which is trivial, absurd. In what manner has such belief swept away all the essential things of life? That is the only way to judge ; in what way are you free, greater, more dangerous to every society which is based on the false and unessential? In what way have the members of this organization of the Star become different?

. . . You are all depending for your spirituality on someone else, for your happiness on someone else, for your enlightenment on someone else; and although you have been preparing for me eighteen years, when I say these things are unnecessary, when I say that you must put them all away and look within yourselves for the enlightenment, for the glory, for the purification, and for the incorruptibility of the self, not one of you is willing to do it. There may be a few, but very, very few.

So why have an organization?

. . . .I said last year that I would compromise. Very few listened to me then. This year I have made it absolutely clear. I do not know how many thousands throughout the world ­ members of the Order ­ have been preparing for me for eighteen years, and yet now they are not willing to listen unconditionally, wholly, to what I say.

So why have an organization?

. . . .You will see how absurd is the whole structure that you have built, looking for external help, depending on others for your comfort, for your happiness, for your strength. These can only be found within yourselves.

So why have an organization?

You are accustomed to being told how far you have advanced, what is your spiritual status. How childish! Who but yourself can tell you if you are incorruptible? You are not serious in these things.

So why have an organization?

But those who really desire to understand, who are looking to find that which is eternal, without beginning, and without end, will walk together with great intensity, will be a danger to everything that is unessential, to unreality’s, to shadows. And they will concentrate, they will become a flame, because they understand. Such a body we must create, and that is my purpose. Because of that real understanding their will be friendship. Because of that true friendship ­ which you do not seem to know ­ there will be real cooperation on the part of each one. And this is not because of authority, not because of salvation, not because of immolation for a cause, but because you really understand, and hence are capable of living in the eternal. This is a greater thing then all pleasure, than all sacrifice.

So these are some of the reasons why, after careful consideration for two years, I have made this decision. It is not from a momentary impulse. I have not been persuaded to it by anyone. I am not persuaded in such things. For two years I have been thinking about it, this, slowly, carefully, patiently, and I have decided to disband the Order, as I happen to be its head. You can form other organizations and expect someone else. With that I am not concerned, nor with creating new cages, new decorations for the cages. My only concern is to set men free absolutely, unconditionally free.

Krishnamurti August 3. 1929

light 3

Who am I ?

A complex schism

We all secretly hold this image inside us of who truly think we are .Most of our deepest beliefs we hold so dear, relating to our identity have been moulded at a very tender age. Romantically created at a time when the attractive ideals of goodness and chivalry still seep through our impressionable minds like cosmic smoke.

We all hold this golden image of what we believe our true soul’s identity and substance to be .We hold it so close that we see it as our true reality blueprint. We will seldom be able to share this blueprint with another individual. Eventually this personal truth will become an unseen stubborn held reality that will be a hidden force and energy. It will affect our entire lives regardless of our actions, tainting our awareness for a lifetime, allowing us to never accept and own our true nature in action.
As we continue through our lives and as our perceptions gradually get tainted and moulded, we begin to slowly develop new defence mechanism with the sole purpose of the preservation in the belief of our inner core.

Our souls gradually adapt to each situation with uncanny survival abilities. We develop incredible idiosyncrasies and reactive personality traits. These perceptual changes can sometimes get so complex, that from a societal stance they become conceived as dark.

There is a line we believe we will never cross, yet with each year that passes we unconsciously move the boundary, the taboo threshold. The actions and words we thought we would never embody. Yet this line, this moral evolution is a continual cycle of spiritual compromise. With each experience you develop your personality, your reactive cycles and your external nature. What you present the world changes each day without you being cognitively aware of the fact that you are losing touch with the inner core you began with, and ironically still identify as your true self (contemplate the evolution of Lex Luther)

No matter how far your words and actions stray and become tainted from your source, no matter how many times the light from the centre of your soul is coloured, refracted or redirected before it reaches the hologram of your external reality ,or the outside observers eyes . No matter what you are currently thinking or doing .Everybody continues to believe they are that original core, the core which to their belief system is acceptable.

Most people manage to justify themselves and switch off certain areas of awareness to help validate this ultimate falsity.

Never do they stop and look in the mirror and ask themselves, who am i opposed to who i think i am?
Instead when we have wronged another, or perhaps have people disappointed or upset with us, perhaps pointing out something about us they don’t like .We often find ourselves shocked at that person perspective or point of view . We find ourselves saying defensive things like “That is not who i am “or “you don’t know me at all! “

Do they have the wrong idea about you? Do they not know you at all? Perhaps it is you that does not know thyself? At least they are seeing what actions and words you are putting out there, and although tainted by their own experiences and perceptions, at least they are aware of your actions!

Why is it that you believe that you can lock the secret identity of your soul inside a safe? Why is it that you believe that your inner core is immune to the going on of your external reality? Why can we not see that thought, emotion and action define us? The greatest illusion in mans psychological history is the schism between who we think we are, and who we are.

Your true substance is the sum of all your experiences and choices. Your true nature your soul, infused and affected, it is evolving with each breath you take. Every single thought, choice and action feed and change elements of your soul. In nature the elements that are nourished and fed become strongest and survive, so in your soul, the parts of you that are starved gradually die out and become your fairytale.

Sometimes the people around you become the only mirrors that reflect the refractions of the tainted light escaping your soul back to you psychical eye and conscious mind .As scary as it seems, often the perspective people have of you (even the ones that despise you) are very often closest to third dimension reality .Closer to what truly is, closer than the fairytale that you silently whisper into your own ear at night.. Sleep my precious…

The person you believe yourself to be within, and the one you truly are without, gradually separate until this subtle lie becomes your own personal delusion!

Until you find the reflective strength and self love to stop the bus one day and climb out , walking around the outside of it ,observing from all angles for the first time .Until you can wean yourself from your daily addictive self talk, free yourself from the fairytale you tell yourself at night with your own forked tongue to feel safe . Until this time self awareness and personal truth cannot be found.
Until you can look at yourself with a multi angled view from all aspects. Until you’re aware of what others see, sense and feel in you. Until you’re aware of what you see sense and feel in others and can get them to correlate, before you can close this schism, merge these realities ,before this awareness cannot be found and personal truth will elude you.

Most of us are just carts that are been destroyed by two horses running in different directions completely unaware of one another. We need to accept what we truly are, who you truly are, with no lies fear or self protective illusions, else you cannot take a step forward.

Do you truly believe that Hitler thought he was evil? Can you not see that he held in his core so close to his heart who he truly thought he was. Some people just allow there schism to get so vast, some of us have pulled the safety wool so far over our own eyes that we cannot even see the road we are driving down. Many of our most complex characters in history have all pushed their level of compromise and justification of their core to such extreme levels of self delusion that it has echoed through time like ripples of insanity.

Can you not see that Robert Mugabe does not sit in front of the mirror thinking “you’re evil. “He feels justified whispering his fairytale talons of dark smoke into his own ear as he recklessly changes gears and blindly turns down the next road, smiling as he creates the next ripple. “You don’t understand me” he might think to himself as he drives over corpses.

You must be careful now, watch your thoughts and judgements. How are you any different? Do we not operate under the same misconceptions? Do you not have a forked tongue whispering into the ear of your own soul, and then blaming dark external forces when you crash? Perhaps these extreme cases exist to teach and show us the dangerous levels that our own personal identity lie can reach. Perhaps the reflections and awareness capabilities that these characters have given society has been priceless.
If you can quieten your internal talk, your lies, if you can wrestle your mighty ego down to expose the blueprint that has been hidden in the deepest recesses of your mind, to the consuming sunshine of true light. Then for the first time you will see what is, what truly is. What truly is and nothing else, nothing more and nothing less.

When this happens chances are you are really going to battle with what you see, you might even discover you were not even on the same highway you originally thought yourself to be on .Once you are far more aware of your true nature incredible growth can take place as you step out of the shadows of denial into the light of acceptance .You might suddenly realise that you have been carrying huge amounts of guilt around with you, feeling like you have constantly been letting yourself down. You might realise that your whole life has merely been a process of belief reinforcement and validation, constantly surrounding yourself by things to support you false identity. You might realise that your whole life was merely a process to reach acceptance of what is, what is beyond mans judgement.
Realising perhaps why you are always attracted to the people that you are, always feeding your false river . An example would be a belief systems that you are so afraid to let go of. You slowly begin to realise that most of your beliefs are there as safety nets.

Sadly most belief systems are tinged with fear constantly encouraging you to step back into the shadows of fairytale with the masses, living lives of guilt and judgement .We never stray far from our original concepts out of fear of reprisal and eternal punishment.

If you truly begin to understand your true essence, if you can empty yourself of all false beliefs, with no fear , no excuses or what ifs . Just true unconditional love of oneself a beautiful thing happens, Cathartic relief.

This catharsis might be extremely difficult in its own sense , but it will be a step towards true self awareness , no matter what you find in the shadows lingering deep .

Sit down for a second and contemplate this, 99 % of all mental and emotional pain comes from resistance, the stronger you resist the more it hurts. A lack of acceptance leads to pain. Did this person really hurt you? Or is it you lack of acceptance for what has happene. Are you a troubled soul or do you lack resistance to what is? Fear itself is a pain caused by lack of acceptance, a resistance to a moment or event, present past or future, a resistance to your chosen reality. Often when you accept whom and what you are, the acceptance and lack of resistance release so much pain that you find yourself healed of the affliction you were denying in the first place. Yet years of avoiding and trying to change that entity had never worked, acceptance is healing.

Mostly i hope that you can just truly look into the mirror some nights and ask yourself, “with my thoughts and actions of today… who does that make me? How does this coincide with who i think i am as a whole? “Do visualisation exercises were you look at yourself through strangers eyes; listen to yourself through another’s ears. What do you notice most about you? What do you hear most often in your words? There is a powerful gift and awareness to be had in realising how little you see of what simply IS .

Merge you truths, Draw your horses back together, do spot checks on the bus inside and out, choose the roads you ride down more cautiously .And if this essay was a little confusing, I ask you at least this .Wake up tom morning and for the first time in your life, get out of your past and your head. Switch your bullshit filter off for one day , and try and see what is , nothing more nothing less , only what is

Or close this essay now and ignore it ,chances are “you’re a good person”, and none of this applies
My precious

light 2
Nathan Raaths

Free will

The last time the average person exercised free will was during the final inception of this life and its circumstances … e.g. choosing your parents. From the moment you arrive you begin to produce logical almost mathematical choices and deductions which are completely affected by the sensory and environmental data which u process daily. You believe that you make difficult spontaneous choices, you are merely reacting to a earth programmed personality that it gets its essence from your experiences and upbringing (e.g. your parents view on love life and politics) (or the way your first friend treated u) Our beliefs (live a lie) traps and enslave us .You are not even remotely the person you think u are.
Those are not your causes or ideals that you feel so strongly for., those are not your beliefs they are merely the perspective you have chosen to experience. in your life time Your are a(higher or god) self produced experimental element of countless possibilities exploring one facet of your soul for a underlying reason of higher growth .All of this is driven by your own higher fully integrated self and purpose :),which is beyond the average persons spectrum.

You have no more free will than a cell in your liver does, it will react to its situation guided by its main being who is fully aware and integrated, perhaps you’re only clear free will, single consciousness choice is to not be willing to experience this life at all. We have no idea about the forces that move within in us .Were they originate from nor there purpose.You are merely reacting to the internal forces that move within your soul, exactly the same as falling in love. So who is pulling the strings ?, you are ,but not what you think you are You are not the single limited consciousness looking in the mirror. You are the being that can secretly sense that the truth is so beautiful so magnificent that we currently have no idea. So next time you kiss your new found love, ask yourself, did I really choose this person? Or are there strange beautiful forces at work 🙂 beyond your control. Sit and meditate on the feelings and emotions that flow unhindered within you and you will realize that you are merely a node of a massive being expressing certain facets.

To truly exercise free will you would have to expand your consciousness beyond staring at one playing card in your hand to seeing the whole deck on the table. (and even getting the rules of the game . Or another way of explaining it would be not only seeing the one facet of your diamond but been able to integrate and experience the whole jewel and the understanding that comes with it .Almost like the little liver cell realizing one day what it truly is ..How small it is in the greater scheme, yet how magnificent it is and most importantly how it relates to the rest of its true being or higher self (or function).The less it identifies with its singular purpose and the more it starts seeing itself as the being and not a separate ego filled part of the being(cell) the more whole it will feel.

Until then we are willing disintegrated pieces of our own higher selves on a beautiful path to wholeness .To make things less painful we have to learn to trust the pure genius of our higher selves .Trust Faith and love are your only solace. To believe your whole and in control is an illusion that will drive u insane .Enjoy the ride ,do you best and secretly wonder “mmmmmmm” I wonder what I am up to up there , sneaky beautiful creature lol

lightNathan Raaths

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