Just too much women

I am too much women, with a light that is blinding and a dark that is deafening. I have spent a lifetime dulling my playful inner child all due to my passionate intensity. I have been experiencing my inner child’s playfulness and levels of expression of late, and it exhausts me to a point where I am starting to have an idea of the extreme levels of power I hold within.

This flaming fiery, fierce, passionate, mischievous goddess that has an innocence that wishes the world to join her in her song, to dance till the early morn. This little magical gypsy is not for the faint hearted. She ignites everything she touches with a lingering scent of mystery and fun with the next adventure in sight. She dances in the moonlight with this enchanting seductiveness.

This alluring nature calls most in to play until they get lost in her wake. Her blunt openness entices most to want to engage with her, trying to contain her and control her wild spirit, only to be left in the aftermath with her ash still present in the dense air, with only her scent to hold onto. She cannot be caged nor owned. Her soul is wild and free with the taste of spontaneous love and adventure on her lips.

Those who dare, a word of caution, feed her with appreciation and love. The moment she feels that she holds no value in your mind, heart and soul, she moves with haste in fear of having a piece of her innocence stolen. I am a wildfire soul here to change this world. Watch me burn my fucking name into everything I touch. My fire grows every day as i slowly fall in love with myself again.

Just too much women…

Stop being afraid to own your fire, we have all wasted too much time doubting and dulling ourselves down in fear of what “they” think. Come dance with me gypsies of the night.

I am free.. I am me..

Sultry Rhythm

Whispers in the dead of night dancing in the wind, while gently swaying in the moonlights song. Creeping secrets of stories untold, a haunting tale to unfold ,while it drips through the cracks of our perfect mould. Dance with me in this midnight summers dream. If you listen closely, you can hear her scream. Shattering voices echo through my soul. Feeling empty, drifting away into the evening mist. I feel as though I’ve lost all control. This empty void of a lost song never sung, still sitting on the edge of my tongue. Dancing in the candlelight, spinning round and round to life’s twisted melody, chanting spells of solace sound. It is for you she sings her heart song, for it was you all along. Time was not kind, that fatal grip where she almost lost her mind. Lost in the sonorous moment. Back and forth we go, dancing to the endless paradox of this sultry rhythm. Relentlessly curious of what lies beneath it all in search of the cure to this insatiable unquenchable thirst for more.

Is It True ?

We often share things in the hope that they will change peoples minds. In truth humanity does not move consciously all that quickly, for the simple reason that we seldom actually change our minds about anything at all. People rarely have their beliefs defined by the things they see and read. They tend to first decide what they believe and then with ease they attract and find constant evidence to support their truth.There is a whole world of information and experience happening around us. Every truth as hard as it is for the linear mind to understand actually paradoxically exists. Side by side and simultaneously in cosmic intelligent harmony they stand. Two people believing completely different things about this world, can be standing side by side and both find evidence for what they believe, while both be completely correct.

How a bizarre a thought? We as beings live in such black and white perspectives. We see examples of this mostly in relationship based arguments or religious conflicts. The logical mind says it must be one or the other when complex issues are at hand. Lets say for instance you are not willing to accept this multidimensional possibility, it is easier to explain it in a more literal fashion.

If you decide to walk through your neighborhood tonight and look around, you might notice that as you walk you literally travel through heaven and hell. You could walk down a street filled with beautiful trees, exploding fragrances coming from the summer flowers. You hear children playing gleefully and freely in their garden. Sounds of absolute joy escaping like angelic bubbles slowly floating over the wall. Glimmering noise spheres rising to intoxicate the street with innocence. One might turn the corner and while walking through a darker part of your local park, see a worn out soul collapsed beneath a tree with a needle still protruding from his tired vein, stuck in his broken body. This might be the reality that beholds you only a few minutes later. The most incredible thing about earth is that all realities collapse and mingle, overlap and collide. From the most profound divine expressions of love and beauty to the deepest darkest disconnected actions and events. Reality is all things…

When I was 18 years old I wanted to buy a VW beetle, the excitement of driving out of my house in the passenger seat of my mothers car is so clear. I can still remember what is smelt like that day. I had seldom come across Beetles, but the few I had seen had helped me build the story that made me really love them. I wanted one. I wanted so much to be unique and special. The strangest thing happened, just that morning, starting a mere block away, I saw beetles everywhere. It is as tho suddenly the universe had placed them on each turn, taunting me. Deep in thought I wondered, had they always been there, and why had I never noticed them before?

I can not and nor do I want to tell you what to believe. I however suggest that true power lies in first deciding what kind of story with what kind of reality and deep truths you wish to entertain first. For in some magical cosmic way they all exist simultaneously.

Choose who you wish to dance with before you put out your hand. If you did not believe in universal intelligence before this, you are bound to after a few weeks. The penny will soon drop. The story that you have chosen to hold in your heart will be supported and proven a thousand times over in the days to come. Their is a beetle on every corner for the man who looks for it. The primordial om is singing it’s song… The galactic floor is filled with every character you can imagine, ready to play along.

Choose who you wish to dance with before you put out your hand…

Nathan Raaths

A Child In The Sun


As a child I was never sure what beauty was… for it was all beautiful. We stood in fields at night listening to the intense debates of rain in all its possibility among those we called the adults . That land smelt of red magic, it was even red to its earth, it left red dank on my hands at night . I once heard my grandfather call it the red lands. And I often delighted as a child at the sound of a thousand seeds falling from my clothes as the attempted to bathe and cleanse us. Sometimes in the fields I would go to my knees completely lost in the size and enormity of what I stood within. The smell of of pure earth is what most haunts me. I was exhilarated and terrified at the same time. Sometimes running full speed half in excitement half in terror it felt like perhaps the fields went on for ever. I would crouch amidst an oasis of beauty. Half filled with wonder and yet almost panicked from the powerful buzz of a million bees. Kneeling in fear and wonder I looked up to the attack on my childlike sensual being. Every creature for a hundred miles had come to worship the sun. So I calmed my fear, turned my head and felt the first rays landing. I begun to understand a wisdom that lay beyond my years. Beyond the field of seeming unconscious yellow. This was my first true expression of worship in my life. Before me a thousand perfect geometrical organic heads turned expressions towards their god, and without hindrance of my innocent observation, silently danced before me
As their majestic glowing heads turned towards the primordial one. Each one in symmetry, without question they aligned effortlessly. They danced and swayed in quiet worship
It was quite divine
I as a human child was the last one to understand
It was not a logical thought, more a sudden gentle knowing that washed over me.
Thoughts of fear and separation dissolved, I closed my eyes and surrendered to the one
Life would often repeat this miracle
To the light that makes all things, thank you for dancing for me
Thank you for letting me truly see
Nathan Raaths

Wash Me Away

The more I understand that I have always been, and always will be in existence, the more I realise that there is nothing to fear.  All my perceptions of pain come from the moments in time I hang on to. From the moments we try and freeze. We are only afraid of change. We actually only suffer from the moments we try and control or turn back. Eternity and constant flux are the only absolute constants in reality. I understand more deeply this morning how many levels of surrender there are, and the freedom that lies waiting for those who courageously let go. Flowing and accepting no matter the change at hand, from rejection to death .
Your pain is measure by your inability to let go. Your healing is always found on the other side of surrender and acceptance. Even your ability to align with the divine is held by your ability to let go
All pain comes from resistance.
Whether you like it or not, fighting against the river will not stop it from washing you away.
The mind has convinced you that you are a dead stone in the river. One that must cling for fear of been washed away from this moment in time .
When you work on your inner reality through ceremony, meditation and prayer, true reality begins to emerge. You realise that you cannot surrender because you have no faith in the perfection of source energy emanating through you.
When you cultivate the inner worlds. Your find your terrified grip slowly release in powerful realisation

I am the river !

It is myself I have been fighting all along

You throw up your arms in happy tears ……. just as it washes you away

Nathan Raath

Its Effortless To Love You

For many years I walked around in a profound state of bliss. I could never quite explain to people what it was that I was feeling. Such is the nature of life, the last few years have since been really challenging. I have walked some seriously difficult experiences. I know many of you are no stranger to the “Dark Night of the Soul” … And its fair statement to say that amidst all of my desperate attempts to cope with one thing after another, I secretly started to wonder if the person that I knew myself to be was even in there. I actually began to question if I had been deluded. I now find myself this year, becoming more and more the person I always knew myself to be. Its sounds very clichéd but I can truly see and feel the amount that I have grown and shifted through the trials and tribulations that I faced.
I find myself back in that state that I lived in for so many years. Only this time I can actually pin point what I am experiencing. I am experiencing being in love. Absolutely head over heels in love. This love that I feel is not directed at any particular person. I am just in an ecstatic state of being in love. In love with myself, in love with all those around me, in love with our deep struggles. Regardless everything around me just seems filled with collateral beauty. Life truly is an epic, beautiful, savage bitch. One which I feel we take way too seriously. It feels good to be in love again. I can’t stop smiling. I am naughty and mischievous in thought, as I always was. And I experience the same gift that love brings to all of us. It just makes everything glow a little. I am madly in love, there is no doubt that this is what I am feeling. I don’t see why there has to be another person involved I think I found the one, and it’s me.
Playfulness aside, I thank the divine emanation within us all for the way our souls grow and unfurl unimaginable beauty through the trials and tribulations brought to us. Thank you for the suffering, I see more clearly each time. And more and more, all I see and feel is love The cracks truly are where the light enters. I feel like there is less and less of me left each time, yet I have become more and more of everything else. It is effortless to love you.

Nathan Raaths


Gangsters Of The Heart

Build up those around you. Hold a space free of opinion for those that are at war with themselves. Love fucking hard. Express your appreciation openly for all the beauty you behold. Allow your enthusiasm to spill from your touch .

Love like a child, spill that shit everywhere .
Contaminate your environment with unhindered passion. Hold your vulnerabilities proudly for people to touch and stroke.

Wear your tears without ever looking away
May your life lead you to laughter and tears in the same breath
Light every candle you pass with the embers of your smile

Cry … but never remove your gaze


Nathan Raaths


Characters Furnace 

This is something I have always known in my heart as someone who loves to write and observe society. A truth that makes people very angry if you suggest it to them. No matter what situation or behavior you observe around you in another person, no matter how foreign or pathetic you find their feelings, behaviors or actions. If you gave me the power to pen in, certain events, situations and moments into your life script. Creatively thinking of course… I believe I could get you to act in the same way as that person, that only a moment ago, we were looking to, in disgust.

Eternity is spliced open into character building moments!
The furnaces that forge our steel lie deep below the waters of wandering eyes. If you contemplate this thought deeply, a profound truth exposes itself. One that makes judgement and opinions externally cast a pathless land with no clear sky.
Perhaps this cosmic intelligence is going to leave us all here… changing roles over and over for eons until we figure it out.

We can’t point our fingers at anything outside of ourselves without pointing directly at a part of ourselves expressing at a different time and place. It is just another part of the consciousness that births us all, merely moulded by different storms, words and songs.
Yet behind us all, lies the same mighty wind. Silently dancing with itself .

Nathan Raaths


Broken On The Inside

I watched a cripple man hobble past me in a very uncomfortable looking way, it amazed me he was even walking. I started thinking how the majority of our generation are also crippled inside. We are literally crippled and deformed inside, mentally and emotionally, plain and simple. The sickness of separation runs through our veins.
The hard thing about this kind of disability is that because no one can see it, they don’t believe that it is there. In an almost sick twist of fate our ultimate disability is hidden to those around us. We sometimes become so desperate to try and show, and express this pain, we try somehow to scream out. We try and hold up our broken wing that keeps us from flying, yet there is nothing to show.
This kind of disability is mostly ignored and eats away at our Souls. Some try look for attention in crazy ways, become drama addicts, even cut and hack at their very skin.)
Crying out for someone to see them bleeding internally.
Society tries to box and label them, making up new bullshit disorders and imbalances every month. Societies way of pointing the finger away from itself. Many souls lose themselves to addictions, suicide and desperate acts of attrition. I used to be one of those souls … I lived in the hell, while trying to be in what we call normality and civilized society at the same time!
No one taught me how we create our own reality, I was so deep into my own pain that I could not take ownership or responsibility as I do now. Little did i know that the more I focused on what was wrong with me, the more that experience unfolded. These are times of desperate screams in the night I would rather not relive.
Thankfully I started to control my creation eventually, after some rather comical turmoil.
Thankfully I found the strength to step out of the mould society tries to force us into as well, I began to forge my own path that many frowned upon. I am blessed to have found my healing and peace, yet I am haunted about how desperate this life can become. I see it in so many faces. With the love and empathy I now carry I do what I can to assist.
I don’t perceive that anything in life comes with any meaning, all life is actually meaningless in some way. Now before you get angry … another way of putting it, is that the meaning of life is to give it meaning.
You are the architect of the experience, as well as the narrator of the story. You decide what story to attach to the adventure you are creating. I decided to make my extreme insanity and suffering something that had helped me train to assist others in their pain later in my life. I do not perceive that this was true or not true before I made this conscious choice of what it is my life had been about for thirty years. If I had attached a different story to the events I had masterminded, my life would have a very different meaning and experience right now.
I ask you to ponder on this idea right now…
What story do you choose to attach to the events of your life?
Those who have eyes to see know that a powerful wave of love, healing and change is truly washing over everything! It brings tears to my eyes to see, even to be a part of it.
Yet sadly it is still too late for many on this round, I have lost so many brothers, seen so many friends fall. And on a planetary level, just the thought of what we have done to each other makes my heart break a thousand times!
Yet I have seen behind the seeming chaos, to the sheer perfection of how perfectly balanced all that unfolds truly is.
The love of my eternal soul has washed me clean now, I have let go of the old painful ideas and beliefs, the ones I gave meaning to now consciously serve me so well.
I still feel daily for those I see fighting the deep inner wars around me.
I hold a deep space of love and acceptance, devoid of any opinions of the behaviours you use to deal with your current pains.
I, as so many others do, hold space for you, while you learn to get that magnificent creation machine under control.
Just as you do with me…

Turn within.
We are all the same inside!

Nathan Raaths